The Galactic Empire Times reports Obi-Wan Kenobi Is Dead, Vader Says. This hilariously genius article kicks off saying, “Obi-Wan Kenobi, the mastermind of some of the most devastating attacks on the Galactic Empire and the most hunted man in the galaxy, was killed in a firefight with Imperial forces near Alderaan, Darth Vader announced on Sunday.” They just keep going on that theme and never drop character. I hope the Galactic Empire Times eventually reports on some other events. My favorite comment so far is from a poster named StormedTrooper who writes, “Why are we still giving aid to Tatooine? They probably knew of Kenobi’s existence the whole time and even helped him! That whole planet is just a big hive of scum and villainy.” Which is also very funny and my sexy Lord Vader looks mighty fine behind that podium. All of which begs the question of why exactly it is so easy to substitute Darth Vader’s Empire for USA there.