Game of Thrones: Family Ties


Game of Thrones is back with its ‘almost last’ episode. I think the Mountain is the new Night King. Isn’t what the children created before? A guardian to protect them their enemies. I wonder if Cersei accidentally restarted the undead plague. (Post-show Note: I guess the writers had something else in mind, namely well, whatever the hell I just watched)

We start with a somber Varys and Jon. Varys wants what’s good for the Kingdom, but the way to approach Jon isn’t straight forward asking him to be King. Jon is far too loyal for his own, and possibly, his Kingdom’s good.

Tyrion and Danny are about to have a long dark tea-time of the soul here. Danny’s own blindness will be her undoing. The coin may have not landed for Danny, but it sure the hell isn’t landing on the side where Varys makes it out alive. One of the most truly loyal (to the people) characters of the show and yet his fate is the same as a traitor. He simply did not grow as a character.

Jon is with Danny when is happens and that is as telling as Tyrion’s goodbye. Surely Jon can see that Danny is insane. Right? And that look on his face tells. It’s the same look Bean gave me when I said we should dress like luchadores and ride pigmy ponies down the center aisle of the local Walmart demanding reparations for being Polish. I mean, we still did it but that look, oh that look…

Grey Worm’s storms out but the ‘She did this and she won this round and she is against’ me stuff won’t fly with Jon. Apparently, incest does, though.

Danny’s insistence on burning them all alive is going to make a KingSlayer out of Tyrion. Maybe that’s his role in all of this? Speaking of Jaime, the news of him being stopped just rang out over Tyrion with a non-too subtle threat. Danny turning heel isn’t anything new. A power-hungry person saying she’s doing things to ‘right wrongs’ but really causing more of those wrongs to come into existence is what she’s done since the first time she turned Aquaman against her brother.

I’m not going to like this favor, am I?
It involves smuggling a sausage between two buns..

Arya is going to kill Cersei.
Jaime is going to kill Cersei.
Danny is going to kill Cersei.
GRRM is going to kill Cersei.

Promises, promises. I can’t believe Tyrion still believing the baby angle. Him trying to smuggle Cersei and Jaime out has to be one of the stupidest yet noble things he has done. He willingly trades his life for Jaime and we are treated by another really touching time of the Brothers. Unfortunately, both are set on a path neither can fully understand in each other or change.

Then they thought, ‘holy crap—don’t we have TWO pirate people in this show?’ All this tension makes me wonder when the other other Greyjoy will come back to take out the fleet. In the confusion, the Hound and Arya make their way up towards the castle, as does Jaime.

All the plotting and it comes down to a final flaw, a saving throw failed, a crit to the face in the acts of somehow having one dragon destroy the entire fleet with ease.

‘Fire!’ – Lannister twit aiming a crossbow
‘What a great idea!’ – Danny

Wait…weren’t all the Horsepeeps dead? Did I dream that plot up? Then again, that one battle episode was so darn dark, maybe all of them survived and I just assumed they died. I get it, it’s a big battle but did anyone care the sellswords died? Did anyone know them? We’ve seen people die by dragon and Unsullied and Horsepeople before so what now? Without a build up of character, and I hardly call the other other Greyjoy a character anyone gave a rat’s about, then all we have is a highlight reel.

The immediate questions are: Does Cersei give up; does Jaime kill her; does Danny fry all the people who just gave up their swords? Does she smash the keep?

Jon needed to see this. Grey Worm never changed—he will need to die now. Danny never changed—she will need to die.

Does anyone—at all—care or give a single crap about the other other Greyjoy whose name, I believe, is McGuffin Greyjoy? We care about Jaime, sure, but this isn’t exactly Andre the Giant vs Hulk Hogan. This isn’t even Andre the Giant v Brooke Hogan. So, Jaime dies at the hand of some rando. Cool.

Can The Hound do for Arya what he couldn’t go for Sansa? We might miss an Arya and Hound v Cersei and Mountain match, but let’s face it—that wouldn’t have been much of a match. Speaking of Cersei—how much did the actress get paid per episode to what amounted to a day’s work of staring out a window? Speaking of work, it’s so nice to have the guy who played the burn up version of Vader get work again.

Does Jaime do the right thing? End her reign like he did the former king?

Anyone else want to see Arya come by and snickety snick the Mountain? I think she needs to see the destruction, too. She needs to see that Danny needs to be stopped and, maybe, even Sansa. The list for Arya grew a bit today.

The juxtaposition of Arya and The Hound’s break into the third act is telling. Their lives forever entwined. As the Hound loses his eyes, he helps his brother out a bit with a knife through the face. I don’t think anyone believed the ending to The Hound here. What sort of lazy writing is that? Sure, make them duel to the death—I can see that—but efing hell, in a series about dragons and undead and magic, there needs to be some sort of reality tying it all together. I sorta drew the line at McGuffin Greyjoy but that seems like a pleasant tickle compared to some of this Mountain logic.

Arya is dead or alive, dunno. All I do know is if there was a shark somewhere in King’s Landing, a dragon would be jumping it right now.

Cersei dies to a cave-in with her brother. Okay, sure, why not. I mean, it can’t get any worse. It’s not like the writers will put in a white horse for Arya to ride after an obvious Death and Pompeii allu…errmm…the crap?

It appears the last episode is going to be like Season 1 of Iron Fist—political and boring as hell. Something something everyone else is dead. Something Jon vs Danny something Sansa and Arya go clubbing something something Jon kills ‘em all something Jazzhands.

That’s my prediction, at least!


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