Game of Thrones 45 – Kill The Boy Cause Haters Gonna Hate

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There is something ridiculously atmospheric about how I watched this week’s episode of HBO’s Game of Thrones: at 3am in a wooden bed in a hostel in rural Germany. I low key was imagining that I was in an inn on the road with Brienne and Pod, chilling out after a long day of chasing Stark daughters. Because yah, I really am THAT much of a dork.

And this week, so was the cast! Let’s start with my favorite dork! Last week we saw Gray Worm and Ser Barristen being attacked by the Sons of the Harpy, left bleeding out, fate unknown. Now we see Gray Worm in serious condition and our good knight is no more. In retribution, Dany rounds up the heads of Mereen’s great families and starts feeding them to her dragons. Seriously, Dany, nobody has any right to look THAT good when their lighting is the flaming corpse of their enemy.

Then to the TRUEST dork, Samwell Tarly. Maester Aemon confirmed for a Targayran, by the way, which may still be surprising if you haven’t read the books or the graphic novel prequel (which I do highly recommend by the way). Jon goes to Aemon for council and is told, “Haters gonna hate, you do you.” Wise words, Aemon. Wise words.

Of course Jonny boy has some crackpot scheme: get the Wildlings on his side before they all go ice zombie. The Wildlings may be on board but the Crows are NOT in favor of it. But as common enemies go, “fucking ice zombies” is a startling enough one to be fairly motivating Id think.

And then my cutie pie dorks, Brienne and Pod. Bri is aware that Sansa is in danger, regardless of if Sansa thinks so. Good. Maybe Bri can swoop in and save Sansa from this bullshit plot line I have strong words for the show’s writers. Words like “story progression”, “character development”, and “you can’t keep cutting out female characters and acting like anybody else with XX chromosomes will make an accurate proxy, you’re fucking up the story.” BUT I’ll spare you.

There’s drama in Winterfell. The North continues to remember Sansa. Ramsey’s mistress is understandably jealous and clues Sansa in on the existence of Reek. There’s a mighty tense few scenes regarding them seeing one another. Ramsey is creepy. Roose is apparently going to have another kid though, making a proper true born Bolton heir a possibility. For the love of the old gods and the new can someone get rid of Ramsey? Seriously. He’s a lunatic!

Ah. Here was have Stannis to heed my battle cry. He’s packing up and shipping out down to try and take Winterfell. Good luck to him.

Then there’s the adorkable Messandi and Gray Worm. Guys. Guys. I ship I. I ship it SO hard.

Back over to Dany who turns around and decides she’ll reopen the fighting pits and marry someone from an old family of Mereen to improve the bonds. Okay honey. If you say so.

Jorah and Tyrion are off a-sailing. And as usual the only thing saltier than the water is Tyrion. They go through the ruins of Old Valeria – the ancestral home of the Targayrans. They speak of an end of the world situation called “The Doom” that apparently ended Valeria. It’s very eerie. Drogon takes this chance to fly overhead and be very impressive.

A few seconds later in a twist that felt like nothing so much as a Dungeons and Dragons random encounter, they are set upon by stone men – people in the late stages of grayscale. They nearly kill them both but the gents get away at the last moment. They lose the boat somehow (???) and plan to walk to Mereen.

In the last moments it is revealed that one of the stone men touched Jorah, infecting him with grayscale. Uh oh.

It’s 4am in Germany and you would not BELIEVE how loud the birds outside the window are. I thought it was the atmospheric music from Valeria until the credits ended. Here I’ll leave you, gentle reader, to contemplate a plague that spreads by touch, and whatever The Doom might have been. See you next week.




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