First off, I hate that song. Secondly, this episode was brought to you by the letter UGH and the number BOOO. They are slowly building up to what better be an epic Humans VS Everyone Else war, in a most dull way.
Shiva turning into Sam is really weird. But I do have to give credit to Sam Trammell here. He’s had to play himself as other characters before and he does a great job of adopting their physical and verbal characteristics.
The drunk vampires return in what is proving to be the world’s grossest sleep over. So is Lillith going to come back? Or did she just show up to be naked and….. She didn’t do anything, vaguely justified their insane behavior. Again, I’m tired of this story. Russell isn’t even getting any good zingers in. Let them go to war with humans already.
Wolfy Magoo gets buck naked with Tits McGee for some decent sexytimes, oh then it was ruined by talk of relationships. Can’t you guys screw without ruining it by talking?
Bill has some issues with eating a chick while Salome continues to be boring and manipulative but still crazy. But then he changes his mind. Okay then.
The Junior KKK League is still a bunch of dumb shit kickers but now they have Jessica and want Hoyt to kill her. This is really lame.
You’d think Lafayette would buy some Neosporin or some shit on his lips, oh wait! How convenient you found some vampire blood! Now he’s got a ghost boyfriend?
Andy read my mind when he said “I fucking hate this town”.
Back in Faerie Burlesqueland… OH AND THEN THE FAERIES ARE TEACHING US ABOUT SCIENCE. I’m going to light them all on fire.
The Furries get down and dirty and with more tiresome scenes. This time the old fart pack master wants to kill a teenage track star. It fits with the Olympics! Old wolf people be cray cray.
Eric tells Nora about Godrick Ken Obi showing up to tell Eric to save her. She seems less than convinced.
We continue to watch Tara be the same, but with pointier teeth. Pam’s outfit and hair are MUCH BETTER this episode. Such an improvement from last week! Friends don’t let friends have crimped hair.
OOo a seance! THIS is gonna go well! See, perfectly normal, Lafayette was possessed by dead pissed off ghost lady and now Patrick and Terry have to kill each other. What’s so wrong with that? I wonder if the guy who hasn’t been on the show for 5 seasons will die, or if it will be beloved character Terry. Hmmmm.
The Vampire Jerk Squad has a brainstorming session on how to kick start a war with the humans and Bill has a pretty good idea. It’s a little hard to believe that the True Blood corporation only has five factories, but hey, what do I know. And that means Eric’s the good guy now! Maybe he’ll take his pants off more? Please?
