Arrow – Vendetta

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When last we left Ollie, he was about to have some sexy, sweaty, superhero sex with Helena/Huntress. Let’s dream about that for a second, shall we? Aaaaaah. This show should be on HBO. Have I said that before? I think I have but it’s still true. Get some gritty superhero action up in here.

OMG you guys, I’ve been spelling MERLYN wrong this whole time. Why didn’t you guys tell me that? Siiigh.

How many takes do you think they did while Ollie is shirtless and working out in the Man Cave? Handstand pushups, salmon ladder? Good lord how does he have a body like that? He belongs in a museum, he is a classical statue of the pinnacle of manliness. And he doesn’t eat gluten. I tried to find a video for you guys but all I could get was clips of him talking about the salmon ladder. Not hot.

Ollie continues his crusade to get Helena on his side and to stop killing all the jerks she hates. He’s slowly chipping away at her, but like any good boyfriend, the final convincing comes with a new outfit and toys. Oh Ollie, you heartbreaker you. If he bought me a pair of shoes I’d do anything he said. Put on a kinky mask, wear a cape, you got it.

Moira’s continued deceptions cause Walter to peek into her belongings, and finds a tiny book with empty pages. He puts our favorite IT Girl on the case and lo, she discovers The List. Why are there so many copies of this list?

I was really hoping that there wouldn’t be a lot of high school bullshit drama, but this is a show on the CW after all. After an awkward dinner with all the hot people, everyone freaks out and blames the other people of still being in love with each other. UGH. Just have an orgy already! If they were all swingers we wouldn’t be having this problem, cuz there’s never any drama in polyamorous relationships.

Huntress goes after the Triad and starts a war with them and her mobbed up family. The Triad goes balls out and attacks the Bertinelli compound, slicing and dicing like the Swedish Chef. Ollie tries to mitigate the damage, fights Huntress and ends up losing it all. And then we’re supposed to believe he eats away his feelings. LEAST PLAUSIBLE SCENE OF THE WHOLE SHOW.




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