I recently power watched the ABC show Revenge while I was sick and because I like campy tv shows. Revenge does not disappoint. The short version is that a young woman has been scorned and betrayed and is back to settle the score. The long version is much, much, longer. As season two opens, a whole lot of stuff has happened, so you may want to find some recaps if you want to catch up. My condensed version follows.
Some revenge was had. Victoria continues to be dead. Emily lies, continues not to be mean enough. Fake Amanda continues to be annoying. Jack continues to be emo as fuck and doesn’t take his shirt off enough. Deck Chair chimes in with amazing advice for everyone else but is unable to take it himself.
Okay? Go.
We open on the scene of a ship that has been wrecked and two dead bodies. Who are they!? Just like in the season one opener, we know WHAT is gonna happen, just not who or why. It’s like a Tarantino movie, but, you know, better.
When we last left Montauk and all those white people, Victoria’s plane with all the evidence to send Conrad to the slammer had just exploded and some people were happy (Conrad, Emily) and some people were sad (Charlotte, David). But LO YOU CANNOT KILL SUCH AN AWESOME VILLIAN OFF SO EASILY! Victoria really is a great villain. She will stop at nothing to get what she wants, protect her own ass, and maybe protect her kids. She’s had a couple people killed, did she poison someone? Man, I don’t even remember. Victoria makes evil super sexy, in her amazing designer dresses and that smug look of “I’m one step ahead of you”.
So she’s alive and the whole family is SHOCKED, except Emily cuz she’s no dumb dumb. When I saw her alive I just yelled out, “Oh hell no. REEEEEEEEEEEEEVENGE.” Try it, it’s fun.
We learn that Emily’s mom is alive but was in an asylum, maybe against her will. I’m finding it a little hard to care about this arc but we’ll see where it goes. There’s just so much other stuff with the Agency, or Initiative, that I feel this is too distracting. There are also not nearly enough shirtless men. Come on ABC, who do you think is watching this show. Jack has some sexy appeal going, a little Johnny Depp with that goatee, and David is all prep boy realness. Last season, Nolan’s gay sex blackmail romp was quite naughty and steamy. Can we see some more of that please? Thank you.
Mystery man from Emily’s samurai shows up, intentions unknown. There is still a lot of revenge to be had, lies to tell, and people to manipulate. So let’s see where this season takes us.
