I thought I’d drink a Negroni for tonight’s episode, it seemed fitting since it is a red cocktail. It’s a super easy and potent cocktail, perfect for Apertivo or any time if you’re an alcoholic! Or just like to have a good time. And old Italian Men love it, which I surely am.
Mix equal parts Gin, Campari and Sweet Vermouth, pour over ice and garnish with an orange (if yer fancy).
Zombie Tara is at least kinda interesting? She’s really just like a meth head. Maybe they could put her to use building out the house now that she’s broken a bunch of shit? Man, this is like dealing with your shittiest drunk friend. Please don’t throw up in my sink, here lay down on the couch, here’s a bag, throw up into the bag not on my floor, drink some water, take an ibuprofen. Jesus, those are the worst kind of friends. Sookie goes shopping for some Vamp traps? This is a dumb scene that didn’t need to be there. Lala tries to stake Tara and he was finally making a lot of sense. Yeah, you SHOULD have left the bitch dead. Cuz she’s one pissed off fucking vampire bitch now.
How does the Vamp HQ have such crazy tech? How do the Vamps make so much money? I’d like to sit in on a business meeting, see how I could be making some greater ROI than just making dumb tshirts.
Wolf pack drama that no one cares about and is totally uninteresting, maybe Magoo Wolf is a vegetarian and that’s why he doesn’t want to eat that dirt bag wolfy? Remember when Martha Wolf was the prostitute on “My Name is Earl”? Now that was a good role.
Here is my guess why Terry is sleep walking and being an asshole. Terry and his Marine pals did some terrible shit “during the war”, probably lit a bunch of civilians on fire, and now vengeful ghosts are coming for him. Just like when that crazy Creole ghost took over the baby last season! I’ve been watching a lot of Supernatural so I’m probably right.
Let’s count the ways that Pam is awesome. She’s surly as fuck. Her wardrobe is to fucking DIE FOR. She likes Campari! A key ingredient in Negronis! She gets business done and treats her whores right. She doesn’t freak out when she sees Eric for the first time and he kills a bitch dead. *Note: there is no Eric butt in this episode and we are all sadder for it.
You guys, Sookie is totally preggers in real life. Do you think they are going to work that into the plot? Cuz if they do, I might throw my tv out the window. And that would be hard cuz my tv is really heavy, but I would kill myself trying to.
Hey kids! A bible lesson! I don’t know what these crazy mofos are talking about, and I don’t know that anyone cares. I’m not impressed with their interrogation methods. Sure, that silver IV madness looks like it hurts, but bad cop/bad cop is not a routine that will work on these dudes. They’ve had to put up with Sookie’s ugly ass cry face, that is much more of a motivator than pain.
Jessica’s house party looks like a middle school party that goes from 7 to Question Mark. Proud Gay Vampire tries to convince Baby Jess to buy(?) Jason? For a night or forever? This is the grossest thing that’s happened so far, and that includes the Furries eating the dead guy. Fang Boner is not a term I needed to add to my vocabulary.
The return of Hoyt! He’s a sweet guy but he was wrong when he thought he could make Jess happy. You can’t keep a young vampire down, even if Jason was totally in the wrong for boning her, Hoyt was never gonna be able to hold on to her. When you’re a young fresh vampire you need to go out and eat the world! Not stay in Craptown with bumpkins!
I understand that people think President Meloni or whatever is hot but I don’t get it. Sure, he’s muscley and has a big nose, which is usually my MO, but he just doesn’t do it for me. He’s no Jaqen H’ghar! And he never will be!
So the Authority is just crazy religious fanatics that happen to be vampires? Great. That makes this so much more interesting. Wait, no it doesn’t. I kinda zoned out during his big speech. Blah blah agendas and politics. Oh right, we didn’t kill Russel when we said we did because…. At least he’ll be fun to watch as he’s a total psycho. Ugh, looks like some someone drew a puzzle into his skin with a knife.
So nothing happened in this goddamn episdoe. WTF. We didn’t get enough Pam, she just kinda thought about some stuff. Tara was her usual bitch self and ran off, but now she’s a vampire. She’s not FUCKTARDED. The Cuddle Buddies left their shirts on. How boring. Let’s step it up a little next week? Eh?
