I should confess, I initially scoffed at the buzz surrounding the much-hyped “once in a generation” game slated for release in August 2023. I feel like I have gone through at least fifty of those claims in the past two decades. But here I stand corrected, I say, staring at the 400 hours I’ve garnered in Baldur’s Gate 3 since the summer.
Not since “Tennis for Two” and “Tetris” has there been this much hype around a single video game. Admittedly, I was not there during the first and second installments, given the fact I was probably teething, so my knowledge on the lore wasn’t that great. But seven months and a few popped blood vessels later, I can confidently declare myself a BG3 expert on my CV.
While the game pays homage to Dungeons & Dragons, I’m happy to report there’s not much need for any prior TTRPG knowledge to enjoy the gameplay. Very important gameplay too, like getting sucked off by a traumatized vampire, getting beaten up by a traumatized frog-lady, getting yelled at by a traumatized half-elf, getting hugs from a traumatized devil-lady—I did not realize just how tragic every companion is in this game.
Regardless, not to give any spoilers, it does take a very long time to figure out where Baldur or his Gate are. Once I did though, I also realized I had at least ten outfits and seven legendary weapons left to find before getting to an ending. And I still managed to go another month before even thinking I was close to finishing the main plot. Safe to say, this game is long and full of rewards for those who want to explore it. And by rewards, I do mean extremely detailed sex scenes with a murderous psychopath or any other member of your lovely troupe of companions.
Between the immersive tactical gameplay, tantalizing companion storylines, customizable modes for literally everything, and the very probable consequence of becoming a calamari enjoyer by the end of it, I would give this entire experience a 9.5/10. There are still a few rather predictable Larian bugs that just seem to keep crawling back no matter the amount of hotfixes.
With a bit of patience and enough elbow grease, you too can find yourself under the business end of an elf-turned-druid-turned-bear. A critical hit all around!
