Now for episode four, season five of HBO’s Game of Thrones. I’d like to take a moment to pointlessly rave about Game of Thrones’ stunning opening credits. HBO always does it up right with these things (Boardwalk Empire and True Blood are other great examples), and this is the one show in particular whose credits I never skip. I like watching the map of Westeros change as plots develop, and you can get glimpses of where each particular episode will focus. It’s a really cool way to get pumped up about the coming episode. Also it’s just plain pretty. I appreciate the effort that must go into each one. Kudos to the tech department.
We pick up this episode shortly after where we left off – Jorah Mormont kidnapping Tyrion Lannister. Varys must be just tearing his hair out with worry – oh. Wait.
And Jaime is on his way down to Dorne to rescue his “niece”. Yah. His “niece”. Which is technically true, but Jaime who are you trying to fool?
The Crown owes major cash to the Iron Bank. Cersei uses this to her political advantage to send Lord Tyrell, master of the coin, to speak to the bank personally, thus getting him out of her way in King’s Landing. Cersei also makes moves to install a holy army in the form the the Sparrows, from which no one is safe. They carve the symbol of the Seven onto their foreheads and proceed to create chaos in the city. This chaos has obvious political benefit for Cersei, but it takes on a decidedly homophobic note which had previously been absent from most discussion of Westerosi religion. Bit uncomfortable to watch, that.
Tommen tries to diffuse the situation after Loras Tyrell is imprisoned. But his attempts only go to prove what a child he really is. And an unpopular king, at that.
The Red Woman is at it again up at The Wall, wheeling, dealing, and coming on to Jon Snow. When he turns her down, she cryptically tells him he knows nothing. True. But what does she know?
Shireen and Stannis have as adorable of a moment as Stannis is capable of having. There have been a lot of mentions of grayscale this season. I have to wonder if it’s foreshadowing.
History lesson with Littlefinger regarding how the war that disposed the Targaryens began. He’s also apparently leaving Sansa alone with the Boltons to await some theoretical rescue by Stannis and his arms. A+ way to show you care, you complete creep.
Jaime and Bronn arrive in Dorne, and Jaime gets to put his southpaw sword fighting methods to the test. He unlocks a special ability in the form of using his golden hand to deflect swords. Very cool method.
But they have bigger problems than a few random encounter Dornishmen. The Sand Snakes – Oberon Martell’s bastard and now fatherless daughters – are out to get them. Each young woman is deadly in her own way – as we get to see when one produces a whip and another flings a spear. And they want revenge. I would not want to be on their bad side. Good luck, Lannisters!
Jorah Mormont plans to take the kidnapped Tyrion to Dany to try and win back her favour. Jorah. Bro. She doesn’t want you. You betrayed her. She knows it. She hates your guts. Stop trying. Get a hobby. Take up fishing. Or crochet. Seriously.
Dany learns that her brother – not the dick that we got rid of back in season one, the other one, Rhaegar – was a great singer, and that Meereen needs its fighting pits in order to maintain a sense of tradition. The Sons of the Harpy go on rampage, this time in force. They take down Gray Worm and Ser Barrison, but at least the pair go down fighting.