HBO felt it necessary to sully this episode with a “teaser” for the last season of “True Blood”. All I can say, is THANK FUCKING ZUUL THAT SHIT IS ALMOST OVER. Anyway, on with the good shit.
This episode is titled “The Lion and The Rose”, because the back half of the episode is all about young Joffrey and Margery’s fabulous wedding. Bitch, this is how you throw a party. This episode can also be subtitled good things happen to good people.
Theon, who goes by Reek now, goes on a fun little hunting trip with The Bastard, chasing the ultimate game, castle wench. Ugh, poor Theon. He’s such a goddamn pathetic mess now. You have to feel sorry for him because next to Ramsay he looks like a goddamn puppy dog. Reek admits he didn’t kill Bran and Rickon so Roose orders Ramsay to take Moat Cailin. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, just notch it up to political jibber jabber.
Poor Jaime feels sorry for himself and practices with Bron in an attempt to regain some of his fighting skills. Bron hits him with words harder than the sword.
Hey, it’s Varys! Shae, girl, you in trouble. Tyrion’s trying to do right by you and you are just a dumb whore who can’t see the forest for the trees. If you’re not afraid of Cersei then you deserve what you get!
Nothing like a nice night bonfire on the beach! Melisandre sacrifices more people to the Red God and has a chat with the princess. While false kings squabble over land and money, Melisandre focuses on the bigger picture. The comet is a sign people! The night is full of terrors! Where does the true battle lie?
We briefly check in with Bran, who is possessing his direwolf every chance he gets. Bran has a crazy vision that bears re-watching and sees a three eyed crow who tells him to go NORTH, Miss Tessmacher.
There are lots of examples of Joffrey being a shit in this episode and mocking his uncle in any way he can. Joffery and Margery git murried and man oh man, that crown with the rose vine intertwining it is so goddamn cool. There is plenty of witty banter and repartee amongst the guests and Brienne betrays her “love” for Jaime when pressured by Cersei.
And of course it’s all fun and games til you alienate your whole wedding party with midget mock melee. Sansa goes to her happy place and actually shows Tyrion some kindness. Those poor kids, I feel like eventually they could be happy together. BUT that isn’t going to happen after Joffrey chokes to death at his own damn party. You’re right, Lady Oleana, “…killing a man at a wedding, what sort of monster would so such a thing?”
Cersei accuses Tyrion of poisoning the wine, but you know what? The day will come when your joy will turn to ashes in your mouth, BITCH!
