Game of Thrones – S8E2 69, Dude

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S08-E02 69, Dude! I kid you not–69 is what it on my HBO Now as a title–and it fits! It really does (see more below!)

Boy does a week fly faster than an undead dragon. Now that the table is set, it’s time for us to see who dies first in this season of Game of Thrones. Although pirate swagger McGreyjoy is odds-on favorite, I am going with….the red witch.

Oh, and it looks like Bran is going to have that long waited reunion with Jaime. There is a betting line that says Jaime lives long enough to kill his sister. I think murder suicide, myself. If anyone has a different theory, hit me up on twitter.

When I was a child, my brother would tell me a bedtime story of the man who murdered my father—Danny DragonQueen

Anyone else forget that he killed her father, too? It seems that he was a busy little Lannister in previous seasons. Everything is dark in this start. The light, the story line, the spot on my xray—everything. Snap, and Bran reminds us that someone pushed someone out a window.

Does anyone else think Brienne’s speech here would be different if Lady Stoneheart were here? It makes me wonder if the story writers are taking a bit of LSH’s role and merging it with Brienne. It makes some sense to meld characters together for the screen but there is a weighted absence here on the set with such a major character removed. This also makes me question if Jaime’s story isn’t a pure redemption arc? Yes, he is here now in Winterfell and ready to fight—but will it really turn out to be that murder suicide I predict? Will he maybe have to put Cersei down once she turns into a White Walker?

It seems that Jon still hasn’t told his aunt that, well, she’s his aunt.

Arya has a puzzle in front of her. If the White Walkers are Death, and she is the hand of death—then what does that make her in relationship to them? Is her Death the true death ready to snuff out the imposter god?

Sorry for pushing you out of a window but you know, I was shagging my sister. – Jaime
I saw her walk naked through the town and sex-up a pirate – Bran

Tyrion wanted to die like me, and he does a bit of foreshadowing with the comment about marching down post-death to tear her apart. I am sure someone will have to tear her apart. If it is not the undead Mountain, then it should be a sibling. I would wonder if she gets raised as a White Walker under the control of her fiendish friend.

Okay, remember last week when I said if people don’t change they die in GoT? That speech to Brienne by Jaime shows just how far he might have come. If Danny can do the same, she might be alive long enough to see that Iron Throne she covets. Sansa and Danny have a small heart to heart. She keeps harping on the Cersei bit, but I wonder if she doesn’t realize how odd that sounds? She is starting to sound petty but brings it back in with Jon.

What about the North – Sansa
I takes what I want – Danny

Wow, Okay. I would have lost the emotional hug bet between Theon and Sansa. It seems that Theon, like Jaime, is back where we met him but with a heavy price. Bran loses his legs—and liked to climb. Jaime loses his hand—and liked to ermm…fight? Theon loses his dingus—and liked to get sexy time. Maybe Danny’s loss was her Dragon? What’s Jon’s? Who loses a leg? Does Tyrion lose his mind?

Wait—if Bran can see future events how the hell does he not know a good battle plan? Even Doctor Strange could see one out of the millions of choices… It seems Tyrion, for now, knows what’s up with Jon. As he picks Bran’s mind, I’m a bit worried for him. Is giving up being completely drunk and sleeping with everyone enough of a character change to keep him safe?

Have you told her yet? – Sam
Yes, and she was into it more than ever before. Something called ‘wincest’ – Jon

Some of the most touching scenes in the entire show are between Jaime and Tyrion when nobody else is looking. The cast of oddlings comes in rather welcomed this time. It might be the last time anyone has a chance not to die. Leave it up to a ginger to turn a sex story into something weird.

Something weird is what we see with Arya and the Hound. The calm before the storm for everyone and ’69’ is starting to take on a new meaning for this episode. The complements are together and it’s a rather good show. These two can probe each other’s past weaknesses and take comfort on how much or little they changed. A few quick one-liners and the story moves forward.

Speaking of moving forward, here comes Arya with the King’s bastard. Sorry, as we all check the IMDB to see the legality of this scene, I have to note that Arya is a cutter. As for someone who is a virgin, she just broke 4chan.

Any Knight can make another Knight. I’ll prove it. – Jaime
Hey man, not all my quotes are made up one-liners – me

The seriousness of everyone getting their affairs (no pun, Arya) in order is well done. The North is alive and well with everyone looking forward to after the fight but living the last moment to the fullest just in case. I think more people should live this way—like a White Walker is about to eat your butt, no jelly. Maybe we’d stop being douchenozzles to each other and take the time to knight each other on our knees..ermm..wait..no…I mean fulfill our dreams and help others fulfill theirs.

If storytelling has taught me anything, this episode is about to end on a real shite note. The characters have wrapped up their emotional story lines the best they can and are about to go through an Empire blender. But first, Jon tells Danny who he is—and now, let the madness begin.

Snap—I forgot these episodes have different run times and here I was getting back to my Oxford exam. I’ll have to put these gerbils down for a moment and finish this review.

The long shot of Tyrion looking over the castle walls and into the Night King’s army is the last thing we see. (I knew I put those gerbils down too soon!). What does it all mean, eh? Are we finally going to get to the war to end all wars? Will the Ironborn accidentally take that left turn and end up at Winterfell in time to march on the North’s forces only to end up helping them out as a true night of the living Undead is nigh?

Predictions for E3—Two people at Winterfell will die; the producers will remember the pirate thing long enough to show a 30 second clip of where they are now; Bronn will make his way up and face the news of either making a true sacrifice like his character is leaning towards or just shooting Tyrion with the crossbow; 14 incels will debate whether or not Arya used a body double; and Cersei will make a cameo in that argument that will end the debate forever, or until the next sex scene when Arya rips off her face to reveal…Hodor.





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