Welcome to this week’s episode of HBO’s Game of Thrones. Or, you know, several weeks ago’s episode, depending on your willpower and/or morals. We open again with Arya, who is now within the House of Black and White. She has, apparently, been sweeping floors for weeks. Does anyone else wonder about the passage of time for various characters?
Then Cersei is bitter about Margery, who marries Tommen in a lovely golden ceremony, vastly more understated than the Purple Wedding. And we jump right to Margery and Tommen in bed. Tad unsettling (thank goodness the show aged-up most of the characters), but I’m not going to complain about seeing Natalie Dormer minimally clothed.
Margery and Cersei are playing a clear game of tug of war with Tommen. Margery seems to be winning, and her interactions with Cersei prove it. “I wish I had some wine to offer you, but it’s a bit early in the day for us.” “How shall I address you now – Queen Mother or Dowager Queen?” The shade of it all, Margery! The shade!
We exit warm gold tones to creepy washed-out blue, where Reek AKA Theon sees the Boltons living up to their flag. The elder Bolton is a pragmatist, the younger is a sadist. You know, I once knew a guy who swore if he were in Westeros, he’d be a Bolton. This is what we call a red flag, boys and girls because Boltons = creeps. Just listen to them plot. Eerie.
In something of a script change from the books, Sansa and Ramsay Bolton are betrothed. A truly horrifying prospect, if you’ll remember last season’s scenes of how Ramsay likes to treat women.
We cut to Brienne and Pod overlooking Sansa and Littlefinger’s traveling party. It’s scenes like this where you really have to appreciate how stunning Ireland, where Game of Thrones films, really is. We get a bit of Pod’s backstory – he’s a good kid. And then a bit on why Brienne so adored Renly Baratheon – she’s a good person.
Jon – now Lord Commander – tells stannis he’ll firmly remain a Snow with the Night’s Watch, rather than become a Stark of Winterfell. I mean, I’d love the chance to tell Stannis exactly where to stick it, too, but c’mon, Jon. Winterfell. Also you could have sex. aren’t you going to at least think about it? No? Fine….
Jaqen H’gar gets deep with an explanation of how to be faceless – how can Arya be no one when so surrounded by Arya Stark’s things? You can’t wear Arya Stark’s clothes and carry Arya Stark’s things and then claim you’re not Arya. Emotional moment with Arya being unable to throw away Needle. She hides it instead. I can’t say I blame her. Next we get a look into what the House of Black and White actually does. Apparently it involves handling the dead.
Sansa meets her betrothed. Eerie cut to a group of women who know just how nasty her new fiance can be. But, hey, at least The North remembers Sansa.
Meanwhile, Jon Snow is a solid leader. And not at all to be trifled with – if you question him, you don’t get second chances. The execution he performs draws a lot of interesting parallels to the one Dany had to handle earlier.
Things get fanatical at King’s landing. A group of religious zealots called the Sparrows are not happy with how the High Septon is running his show. In fairness, he is pretty darn blasphemous. Cersei goes to have a word with the High Sparrow, a man remarkable for his charity and compassion. Not common qualities in Westeros, let alone King’s Landing.
Tyrion goes to stretch his legs and hears a red priestess of the Lord of Light proclaiming Daenerys to be a saviour. Tyrion has a hard time getting over Shae, and proceeds to get himself thoroughly kidnapped by Jorah Mormont – but really, who didn’t see something like that coming?
