YEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSS
Game of Thrones is back!!! Yeah!! So excited for this season, so much crazy shit is going to happen, oh boy, oh boy, oh boy! Did you catch in the opening credits where Winterfell is all smoking and ruined? That’s harsh guys, but I like it. And we get to see Astapor across the narrow sea!
Run, Sam! You fat, little Tarly! Run like you’re being chased by fucking White Walkers, cuz you ARE! You had one job, Sam, one job. Here they gloss over the massacre at the Fist of the First Men, but Martin does that in the book too, and I’m okay with that. We can all imagine what horribleness happened and now the survivors are on the run to the Wall as fast as they can, or everyone is fricking doomed.
We get our first glimpse of a true Wildling camp, complete with giants! So cool, it looks cold as hell and Snow makes a rousing argument to Mance Rayder about why he has deserted the Watch. Mance buys it, but is skeptical for sure. They don’t show Mance’s queen, who is an interesting character in the books, hopefully she’ll make an appearance in the next episode.
Much further to the south, in Kings Landing, Tyrion once again takes up the sparring of words with his beloved sister. Bron serves us some nice one-liners, which makes him so endearing. Now that he’s a knight he thinks he deserves more pay. Makes sense to me. Tyrion has a rather nice chat with his father, in which Tywin cuts him to the bone and openly reveals his spite for our favorite Half Man. Not cool, Tywin, not cool.
Davos is alive and not so well, beached on a rock but rescued by our favorite pirate, Salladhor Saan, who he begs to take him to Dragonstone. Once he gets dropped off he tries to convince Stannis that Melisandre is evil and… well I’m not sure what else, but it doesn’t go well and he is thrown in the cells as traitor. You could have handled that a little better, Davos. But that’s not his style, he gets right to the point.
Ugh, fucking Harrenhall is a stinky, rotting disaster zone. Why is Robb here? I can’t remember exactly, but everyone is dead and it sucks there like always.
Kids grow up so fast! Dany’s dragons are getting big but they’re still not big enough to slay an army or to ride. The sad Dothrakis arrive in Astapor where Dany hopes to raise an army to take back WHAT IS RIGHTFULLY HERS. We are introduced to the Unsullied in true hardcore fashion. Thanks for staying true to the book with the whole cutting off the nipple thing. Ugh, guys, so disturbing. It’s interesting to see this interpretation of the Unsullied, they looked different in my head, but I can accept this version.
Margaery goes on a goodwill mission to the grossest parts of King’s Landing, Flea’s Bottom, showing what a gosh darn great gal she is. And also demonstrating just how much the Lannisters need the Tyrells. Always scheming and pushing buttons in the subtlest of ways as King Doucheface misses it all.
That was the fastest hour ever. I really wish they’d make the premieres and/or finales 90 minutes or two hours. This was a well paced episode tho, it didn’t seem rushed and they covered a lot of ground. They sped up some story lines but I can see why and I think that is fine. I don’t want to wait a whole week for more! I need more now!!
