YOU GUYS! There’s just one more episode after this one! Thank fricking gawd. I’m running out of ways to express how tiresome and bad this season has been.
There’s a guh guh guh GHOOOOST in Blue Blood HQ, calling to Bill. Is it Bloody Mary? In a manner of speaking. Nora still can’t get Obi Wan Godrick out of her head and it’s no wonder. That weird little jedi ghost gives me the creeps. You know, if you’re gonna have a sex scene with best siblings, Nora and Eric, let me see Eric’s goddamn ass!! What a waste of celluloid! Erm, hard drive space?
Finally Jessica is gonna knock some sense into Bill’s thick skull. Sure, make Jason into a vampire! That’s a great idea, then he can kill bitches with his wang. Right? Like Superman and his super jizz? It pretty much goes the way you’d guess, Jason kills Jessica’s guard detail in a gross bloody fart.
Sgt Funwrecker comes on down to the big show at HQ to tell the Vamp Squad that they’ve royally fucked up the government truce they have. While the gov’ment is on task, maybe they should start taxing religions too. Just saying. Here’s how you erradicate vampires. Blast the Earth with UV rays. Done. The bickering between the Authority reminds me of Congress. They never get anything done either.
Pam is back on track with the fashion but I dunno about that hairdo. It’s a bit anime bonanza up in there. We do get two outfits for the price of one! And Tara actually looks good, as much as it pains me to say that. Her red/black ombre jacket was pretty killer. Get it? Cuz she killed the sheriff? Speaking of! Republican Vamp Twat makes a surprise visit because apparently the sheriff was her progeny! What a small world! If Pam takes the fall for Tara just because she thinks Eric is at HQ, she’s got another thing coming.
Eric and Nora can fly? Sam and Shiva can’t talk to each other when they’re mice? Well that’s not very useful.
Sookie describes the vampire phantom as a “weird air shape”? She needs to read more books. Or get a lobotomy. Sookie is looking reaaaaaal chubby in the face meats. Must be that vampire baby growing inside her. BLASPHEMY! Oh boy another goddamn faerie. But this one’s crazy. Great.
It must be laundry day again, because Alcide isn’t wearing a shirt. He must be washing his solitary shirt yet again. Poor guy, I really feel for him, he must not pull down a lot at his job. What does he do again? We saw him on a construction site, what, once? Must not be a lot of work for Terminators either. Ah yeah, Terminator is good with a bow and arrow! I would have been more impressed if it was a crossbow instead, that’s a better white trash weapon.
Ugh, now Andy knocked up that faerie? This just keeps getting better and better. By that I mean dumber and dumber.
I really wish Lilith would put some clothes on, I’m tired of looking at her bloody bush. They are really dragging out this whole Bill becomes the messiah thing. Oh, I see, she’s showing up for everyone and Bill gets all jealous and starts chopping off heads. Oh, its like the vampire Hunger Games! I get it!
Hahaha, Russell drank the shit outta that faerie! That was pretty much the worst plan ever you dumb faeries.
Yet again we get a completely disjointed, mashed together episode with about 10 story lines being crammed in, like balls in a Panda Gangbang. One more to go kiddos, just one more. WHO WILL BE SAVED!? If it’s anything like previous seasons, everyone. Everyone will be saved, no one learns anything and Sookie cries.
