From the Game of Thrones season opener, we know that Daenerys is about to wage war on the fragmented kingdoms whilst her kin Jon is at war with the undead (and Sansa, but she might join the dead soon). This episode promises to build on that suspense. This season is, without a doubt, Empire (does that make next season Jedi? Probably not. I don’t see any happy endings here–just endings).
I must say, I still love the intro. The clockwork map is rather clever and it shows just how vast the kingdom really is and just how far the Stormborn must go to conquer it. Tyrion and Varys help Daenerys plot her first moves. Tyrion makes a smart move by pointing out that combining forces and capturing ‘hearts and minds’ is a lot better than total burnt earth warfare.
Did I say ‘Empire Strikes Back’? I meant Godfather part 2. Daenerys is about to re-castrate Varys. Varys is a tricky guy, but the speech comes from the heart. He earns her respect, but a reserved one. Is she making a mistake? Maybe. She tells him she’ll burn him alive for any betrayal–is it a position of strength or naivety? Either way, the truth bomb of the assassin hits a bit hard.
The Red Witch is back and just in time. Okay, I have to admit, I might have vomited in my mouth a bit when we saw the ‘true’ witch, but I do love seeing her character. She brings great news about the Lord of Light and the Prince(ss) of choice. Enter Jon Snow.
All dwarves are bastards, but does Jon bend the knee? I know he didn’t quite go for that before, but I think he’s ‘ready’ now. He needs to meet with her just so I can see dragons torch the army of the dead. This is going to be one hella epic battle. If he listens to himself and not Sansa.
We’re off to Cersei land. ‘She has three full-grown dragons…’ Finally, the lore and the show tie back in here. It seems that an old forgotten book twist is about to take hold. Jaime makes a powerful diplomat, but is it enough to twist an honor-bound man from his oath? I’m not sure if Jaime grasps honor yet; I had my hopes with his work next to Brienne, but I guess even the best of us can slip backward.
By the power of castle grayscale, I have the power! The tease is about a cure or a method of bringing the man back, but he is ‘not a baby’. There goes my shota fantasy *sigh*. Seriously, does anyone else think he’ll go on half-man/half-rock? I can see some wicked magic going on soon.
We’re back in King’s Landing and dang, that’s a big dragon skull. With a pull of the lever, Cersei shows she can take down a dragon–but can her brother take down a Sand Snake? Bets on Tyrion having it out with her before the end of the meeting? It is scary how good Tyrion is at his job. The attack against his hometown is rather bold and brilliant. He is simply the best Hand ever and, this time, he is mature enough to recognize the importance of his role. Plus, he is given actual credit for what he says and does. Now, if his words ring true or if the old crone will poison the ears of Daenerys is yet to be seen. In a perfect world, Daenerys will listen to the Imp but…
Grey Worm gets freaky. That’s all I can say about this. I had my eyes covered after she took his bottoms off. Of all the things on my ‘bucket list’ seeing a castrated guy is not one of them. I hear kissing and sighs–it must be time to look again.
‘We’re not poets, Tarly’. No truer words have been said. Sam knows the cure, the cost is just his life. No biggie, right? A flask of rum is the required ingredient? Sounds like how I start most of my nights. ‘If you don’t mind, bite down hard’. Yep. Been there. Okay, so, remember when I said I didn’t want to see Grey Worm’s errrm…worm? Well, I take that back. I rather see an entire Discovery Channel special starring him and Varys than see this surgery ever again.
Snap! Ayra finds her long lost escapee troupe. He drops a bit of knowledge on the rather horrible eater that is known as Arya. Instead of killing herself (and probably the Queen), she turns North to meet Jon. A family reunion might be what is needed to get Jon out of his rut, but will she kill her sister?
Either way, Jon accepts the invite from Tyrion. Sansa, Sansa, Sansa, you vile little woman. Does Jon stay or does he go? The difference between him and his fellows? Jon never wanted this. Game on with Sansa taking the North and Little Finger smirking. How I wish I could see Brienne’s sword go through one of them.
To rub in the insult, we are taken to Lady Stark’s grave…instead of seeing Lady Stoneheart. However, if Jon puts a sword through Little Finger, all will be forgiven. Of course, he walks away and that means, he’s next on the hit list.
Speaking of lists, Arya needs to readjust hers. I think Little Finger needs to go to the top and who better to help her than–wow, did that puppy grow! In a touching scene, her Worg comes back only to walk out on her. This is when she realizes her life of revenge has twisted her. She’s still my tie for favorite (Tyrion, yo!) but she definitely needs a wake-up call and maybe this is it. Something about staring into the abyss comes to mind.
War has taken to the Love Boat. It seems like some family reunions are not too happy. They teased Theon as the protector, so this means he is about to die. Not before killing the Snakes, though. Does Theon gain vengeance? Does his character move? Does he pee himself with whatever is left of his penis? Guess he subscribed to a Falstaff method of battle.
More loose ends are tied up in the ever present mania that is known as the Game of Thrones. What will this mean for Tyrion’s plan? Who betrayed Daenerys? Will Jon get funky with his cuz? All this and more in the next episode of Game of Thrones!
