Here we go, it’s 3am, I’m tired as shit and we’re gonna do this for realz.
Zombie Tara awakens to find out she sucks just as much IF NOT MORE than she ever did before. Tara runs back to Sam for help after her transformation cuz basically no one else in town likes her. Remember when they used to bone? And then she went all scissor sister for a season?
The new Nan is Lavender Vamp! Sure, he can stick around for a little bit, til he gets boring and predictable, so like 5 minutes.
Don’t you dare microwave my Pammy you goddamn slut! Wouldn’t revealing Sook has faerie powers in a vamp bar make them all want to eat her? Right?
I’m really not interested in this Sanguinista story line. But at least it takes the focus off Sookie!
The Vamp Board decides to let the Cuddle Buddies track down Russel. Vamp S&M gear is sure awkward, especially since lil Deb from Napoleon Dynamite “installs” them.
OH GOD NO ONE CARES ABOUT DEBBIE!
This is another episode of STORYLINE EXTREME!! It’s like Oprah up in this bitch. YOU GET A STORYLINE! YOU GET A STORYLINE! YOU GET A STORYLINE!
More Pam being a racist(?) madam back story. So, our two gallant heroes have known each other forever? Cool story, bro. And Bill’s crazy maker shows up?
Uh, this Jason/Milf Teacher plot is, um, creepy as shit?
OH GOD NO ONE CARES ABOUT DEBBIE!
Sheriff Andy’s ass is on the facebooks. There is a lesson here youngins.
Jessica takes herself on a shopping spree. More boobs, less dresses please. What is this shit? Another goddamn faerie?
Bwahaha oh Hoyt. That is NOT a good look on you.
Eric butt alert! He gets all bossy when Pam asks to be turned. Oh fuck! I did not see that coming! Pam you’re a hard bitch!
Aww Jason doesn’t want to screw. Poor little broken puppy.
OH GOD NO ONE CARES ABOUT DEBBIE! And Werewolf Magoo can fuck off. Why doesn’t Tara go somewhere else? Start a new life? Again? Not on the show?
Raise your hand if you care about this Lafayette bullshit? Nope? Nobody? Okay, moving on.
Aww Magoo tries to show some emotion. Yeah WHY have you had Sook’s back all this time? WHY? You don’t KNOW HER!
Yo, Tara, there are easier ways to kill yourself. Fall on a really sharp knife. Run into a stake. Um, light yourself on fire?
Do you know what would make this show way better? They should totally cast Tom Wlaschiha as a bad ass vampire! Eh? Eh? Who’s with me!?
