I’ve written about a number of nonpenetrative Fucking Machines adjunct robots this month, but the really must-have Xmas gadget from the Fucking Machines engineers is the UPD. “The Universal Positioning Device, or UPD for short, gives a “pillow-soft” feel to even the most ridiculously heavy steel fucking machine. Balance this baby up, and the cock feels like it’s floating on air. The modified parallelogram linkage with pussy-seeking action keeps that cock rock-solid and pointed at that magic spot, ALL the time. Fucking models with the UPD means never having to say “okay, baby; enjoy yourself, but don’t move too much or you’ll get hurt”!”

UPD Specifications:
length on axis 186 cm (72″)
fork spread 61 cm (24″)
weight capacity 0 – 55 kg (0 – 120 lb)
working height 0 – 100 cm (0 – 40″) above floor

spring constant 0.5 N/cm (1/4 lb/in)
work envelope 93 cm (36″) horizontal
66 cm (26″) vertical
geometry modified parallelogram, with “pussy-seeking” action

Fans of girls in prison films rejoice. The machine sex people have a series featuring a jail set. Of course, while she is in bondage, the guard uses the nightstick on her, along with some robotic assistance. Cross-genre fun.

If you are going to have the Fuckzilla robot around to deploy your sex toys, you will probably need something like The Predator. I can’t show you what that is on the end of The Predator here, but you can check it out at this link and it is most likely what you would expect from a gently thrusting automated tool. Its vital statistics are listed as:

Max RPM: 300 Horsepower: 1/5
Min Stroke: 1″ Max Stroke: 6″
Torque: 2 NM
Strengths: Fully configurable. Smooth operation and variable stroke.
Weaknesses: Could lack power in some situations.

I showed the animation for this particular pleasure machine to my husband and the first thing it reminded him of was the movie Batteries Not Included. The idea of, err, Fuckzilla is that the robot will carry other sex machines around to actually do the dirty work.

The helpful folks from the Kaktuz Adult Blog have a video of a Japanese invention to take the bother out of thrusting. Yes, the Japanese have come up with a machine where you and your partner sit down, insert, and relax while the robot sofa does the old in/out for you. Users can even vary the sweep of the motion with a handy control panel. First video game vibrators and now this. Japanese science is the best.

This site is a true triumph of technology and good old American know-how and ingenuity. The is based out of, where else, San Francisco and features a parade of sexually adventurous young things who are up for getting into a little machine loving. Although some machines are mass-produced items such as the Sybian, the vast majority of them appear to be “homemade” contraptions. The webmasters apparently even take site members’ suggestions for new and improved machinery with with to penetrate naked girls. Chairs, kitchen appliances, sofas, heavy industrial equipment, and sex toys galore, all are fair game for those who crave a mechanical partner. Kind of a simple concept, but a good one. Hotter than you might expect.