Creature from the Black Lagoon is a 1954 monster film directed by Jack Arnold, and starring Richard Carlson, Julia Adams, Richard Denning, Antonio Moreno, and Whit Bissell. The eponymous creature was played by Ben Chapman on land and Ricou Browning in underwater scenes. The film was released in the United States on 5 March 1954.

Creature from the Black Lagoon was filmed and originally released in 3-D requiring polarized 3-D glasses, and subsequently reissued in the 1970s in the inferior anaglyph format (this version was released on home video by MCA Videocassette, Inc. in 1981). It is considered a classic of the 1950s, and generated two sequels, Revenge of the Creature and The Creature Walks Among Us, each a year apart. Revenge of the Creature was also filmed and released in 3-D, in hopes of reviving the format.

The movie has an enduring legacy in both media and the general public. A musical based on the movie opened at Universal Studios Hollywood in late June of 2009. It has also been widely referenced, in part due to its groundbreaking character, in other media. In fact, many movies featuring monsters put a Gill-man likeness in the background as a homage. More directly, the Gill-man appeared in the Robot Chicken episode “Shoe,” voiced by Seth Green. He tells a guy that he prefers to be called the “African American Lagoon.” Its likeness also was used for the film The Monster Squad. However, due to licensing issues with Universal, the creature is referred to as “Gill-Man.” Ben Chapman introduced the creature in costume with Abbott and Costello on live television on an episode of The Colgate Comedy Hour. Even earlier, in The Seven Year Itch, the film is referenced when Tom Ewell and Marilyn Monroe come out of a theatre showing Creature from the Black Lagoon. Monroe expresses some sympathy for the creature, saying that it was not really bad and “just wanted to be loved”. The creature plays a brief cameo emerging from lake Springfield in the Simpsons in the 10th episode of Season 16.

Creature from the Black Lagoon was later made into a pinball game, designed by John Trudeau (AKA “Dr. Flash”), and released in 1992 by Midway (under the Bally brand name). This game has a retro 1950s drive-in theme. It also features such 50s classic songs like Rock Around the Clock, Get a Job, and Summertime Blues. Completing side missions in the pinball game causes the screen to display “Universal Presents… Creature from the Black Lagoon,” and then requires the player to chase after the monster just like in the film. The game sold 7,841 units.

The film has been immortalized in paleontology circles. When Jenny Clack of the University of Cambridge discovered a fossil amphibian in what was once a fetid swamp, she named it Eucritta melanolimnetes, which is Greek for “the creature from the black lagoon.”(via Wikipedia)

Sexy Fandom was on what you might call hiatus when the Fucking Machines people started the Bound Gods site. At the time they started, the PR about the site seemed to indicate that BoundGods is science fiction-themed. When some of the hottest stuff on there features Rusty Stevens and Drake Jaden as a farmer teaching a littering party punk a lesson, I am not sure I see the sci-fi angle, but I do see the appeal. If you are uncomfortable looking at more than one penis in the same picture with no vulvic matter present, don’t click. If you always got excited when Batman or James Bond got tied up by the villain, then this might be just the site for you. Complete with forced robot love.

Anzen Senshi supposedly translates from Japanese to English as “Safety Warrior.” No idea if this is accurate, but I noticed these robot-themed condoms on Slashdong and I could not rest until I found where to buy them. Now that my primary prophylactic mission is accomplished, I may address my secondary goal of making sure as many people as possible are aware of their options for robot penis wear. Amen to the thought that clearly anyone who thinks otaku get no play are mistaken. Apparently they just don’t use birth control, unless a mecha robot transformer monster tells them to.

Once the sale of Sexy Fandom to the Science Fiction Channel goes through, I’ll be doing a lot more coverage of stuff like what I’d like to put through a Stargate and how Rose McGowan has matured as an actress on Charmed and a lot less coverage of where to find robot sex slaves and holiday-themed photos of freaky girls. I think the move in a less mature audiences direction will be fine. I never showed nudity on this site anyway. It will still be me writing the blog, just for a whole lot more money.

It is time to make resolutions for the new year. I have not decided on mine yet. Besides lose weight of course. But I’m thinking about resolving to make it to the next Robot Project at EXPO in Aichi, Japan. The Japanese are quite pervy by American standards, but I actually believe they will create and distribute robots with more functionality than simple human sex partner replacement. For example, they are working on robots which can clean, take out the trash, complete art projects, dance, and take care of kids and the elderly. Happy New Year.

I’ve written about a number of nonpenetrative Fucking Machines adjunct robots this month, but the really must-have Xmas gadget from the Fucking Machines engineers is the UPD. “The Universal Positioning Device, or UPD for short, gives a “pillow-soft” feel to even the most ridiculously heavy steel fucking machine. Balance this baby up, and the cock feels like it’s floating on air. The modified parallelogram linkage with pussy-seeking action keeps that cock rock-solid and pointed at that magic spot, ALL the time. Fucking models with the UPD means never having to say “okay, baby; enjoy yourself, but don’t move too much or you’ll get hurt”!”

UPD Specifications:
length on axis 186 cm (72″)
fork spread 61 cm (24″)
weight capacity 0 – 55 kg (0 – 120 lb)
working height 0 – 100 cm (0 – 40″) above floor

spring constant 0.5 N/cm (1/4 lb/in)
work envelope 93 cm (36″) horizontal
66 cm (26″) vertical
geometry modified parallelogram, with “pussy-seeking” action

Slashdong reminded me that I hadn’t talked about the Svedka robot babe yet. Los Angeles currently has its fair share of billboards featuring pinups of this fembot hottie. The concept is that, in the future, there is a brief new alcohol prohibition that only Svedka is courageous enough to continue distilling during. Svedka vodka and the Svedka robo-ho SVEDKA-Grl combine with legalized social smoking, re-legalized boozing, queer fashion, porn, paparazzi extermination, and free plastic surgery to take the party to the next level. Apparently Swedish vodka makers have seen the future and the future is West Hollywood. No fatties allowed, but that hot chick bot is quite sexy and, remember, plastic surgery is free in this future paradise. If you are young and effing hot, feel free to lie about your age to gain admission to the Svedka site.

Fans of girls in prison films rejoice. The machine sex people have a series featuring a jail set. Of course, while she is in bondage, the guard uses the nightstick on her, along with some robotic assistance. Cross-genre fun.

If you are going to have the Fuckzilla robot around to deploy your sex toys, you will probably need something like The Predator. I can’t show you what that is on the end of The Predator here, but you can check it out at this link and it is most likely what you would expect from a gently thrusting automated tool. Its vital statistics are listed as:

Max RPM: 300 Horsepower: 1/5
Min Stroke: 1″ Max Stroke: 6″
Torque: 2 NM
Strengths: Fully configurable. Smooth operation and variable stroke.
Weaknesses: Could lack power in some situations.

I showed the animation for this particular pleasure machine to my husband and the first thing it reminded him of was the movie Batteries Not Included. The idea of, err, Fuckzilla is that the robot will carry other sex machines around to actually do the dirty work.

In practical usage, a robot is a mechanical device which performs automated tasks, either according to direct human supervision, a pre-defined program or, a set of general guidelines, using artificial intelligence techniques. These tasks either replace or enhance human work, such as in manufacturing, construction or manipulation of heavy or hazardous materials.

A robot may include a feedback-driven connection between sense and action, not under direct human control. The action may take the form of electro-magnetic motors or actuators that move an arm, open and close grips, or propel the robot. The step by step control and feedback is provided by a computer program run on either an external or embedded computer or a microcontroller. By this definition, a robot may include nearly all automated devices. (via Wikipedia)

This site is a true triumph of technology and good old American know-how and ingenuity. The is based out of, where else, San Francisco and features a parade of sexually adventurous young things who are up for getting into a little machine loving. Although some machines are mass-produced items such as the Sybian, the vast majority of them appear to be “homemade” contraptions. The webmasters apparently even take site members’ suggestions for new and improved machinery with with to penetrate naked girls. Chairs, kitchen appliances, sofas, heavy industrial equipment, and sex toys galore, all are fair game for those who crave a mechanical partner. Kind of a simple concept, but a good one. Hotter than you might expect.