An object purported to be somewhere between a mermaid and a sea monster just sold on eBay for $1,550. The seller calls the find a golden mermaid and refers to it as female. He explains his assumption that the mermaid is a she by pointing out the lack of a protruding sex organ. Really, though, what self-respecting heterosexual fanboy would bid on a male sea creature? That would be totally gay. So it just makes sense to describe the mermaid as her. I feel I can paraphrase the Q&A portion, but you really have to read the auction description verbatim to do it justice:

“While exploring desolate areas of Fort Desoto Beach at the southern end of St. Petersburg, here in Florida, I came upon a rather startling discovery. Before me lay what at first appeared to be a very large strange fish. Shocked and amazed, I realized I had found another mermaid or sea monster. I went back to my car to get my camera. My hands were shaking as I tried to calm down to take these photos. This Mermaid or Sea monster, you be the judge, is a few inches shy of being 5 feet long. Laying on a fresh natural bed of seaweed, this creature of the sea looks out as if still alive. What killed this mystery from the depths? Recently in the news there was talk of another outbreak of Red Tide. Had this mermaid fallen ill from this mysterious dreaded disease from the sea? Looking over her gracefull body, I realized what a special creature she must had been in life. Was she the missing link between primates and fish? In time, what would evolution had shaped this creature to be? I sat there thinking for awhile and realized I must get this mermaid back home. I could always ponder later. The winner to this auction will recieve the sea creature shown in the photos below. The photos have not been altered or retouched nor are they result of photo shop. The entire body has been determined to be covered in once living fish skin with scales. I have drilled a small hole in the back of the head so that it can be hung up on a wall for display.”

The seller was quite adamant about the fish scales being real, although he later changed his story on having drilled a hole in her head for display. As the description uses the word “another” to describe the discovery on this lonely Florida beach, presumably the seller has experience in customer service to buyers of curios.