Have you ever wondered if Miss Piggy and Kermit are Twilight fans and like to roleplay human on vampire hot action sex? Have you ever wondered if Miss Piggy is a big Twihard and Kermit humors her vampire and werewolf fetish with threesomes with Rowlf? Well, Jason Segal has. Does that make Jason Segal a furry? Feltie? Gothic.net just posted a Muppets Twilight spoof picture gallery.
Nov 182011
Oct 312011
I am usually a big fan of the Hustler genre parodies.
Maybe they set the bar high with This Ain’t Avatar XXX, but I was also into This Ain’t Ghostbusters XXX, This Ain’t Star Trek, and even This Ain’t Hollywood squares with the guy in the Alf suit. Maybe I just have higher standards for vampire movies. Maybe everyone just has higher standards for vampire movies, even porno parody ones.
Whatever the case, the talent looks fine. Marie McCray and Jessi Palmer are particularly sexy women, but everyone in the movie looks kind of sweaty and uncomfortable, like their makeup is itching their pores. Vampire sex in particular should not look uncomfortably perspiration-inducing. The undead do not sweat. Or even glow.
The teeth. The vampire teeth are especially buck-toothed and goonie-looking. Really dreadful and made worse by how nice the monsters were in the Avatar porn.
All I can really say for This Ain’t Dracula XXX is that they released it in time for Halloween and it is only $1.99 to get access to that and all of the good Hustler parody flicks.
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Oct 312011
If you have ever wanted to imagine you were Han Solo ravishing Princess Leia — and, realistically, who hasn’t? — then camgirl Cassandra Cain is looking for you. Today, the message on her cam reads, “Happy Halloween! I am horny and looking for my Han Solo. Let’s go pvt.” Chat is free.
Aug 192011
John Davidson is probably most recognizable to Sexy Fandom readers for his role in Edward Scissorhands, where he played (in not much of a reach) a television host. He is probably best known in general for hosting Hollywood Squares through much of the 1980′s. (I kind of liked him in Coffee, Tea or Me?, but I digress.)
Some time in the 80′s, John Davidson did a stunt where he dared ALF to come host his show. Way to get replaced by a puppet alien furball. So, when Hustler made This Aint Hollywood Squares XXX, they were being historically accurate by putting a porno guy in an ALF suit for some furry sex.
Aug 052011
After doing parodies for Avatar, Ghostbusters, and Star Trek, I suppose it was almost a given that Hustler would eventually do a parody of current pop alien Lady Gaga.
This Ain’t Lady Gaga XXX. It’s not … I want to say something snarky here, but nothing wholly appropriate is really coming to mind. So [insert snark here] please.
Blue Blood has the free Lady Gaga trailer for this newest Hustler porn parody video.
Jun 162011
The original Ghostbusters is one of the best movies of all time. As a pubescent kid, I was riveted by the whole exchange where Sigourney Weaver channels the Gatekeeper and seeks the Keymaster. My friends and I quoted it for weeks, feeling very naughty.
Louis Tully: I am The Keymaster!
Dana Barrett: I am The Gatekeeper!
Anything middle schoolers can see the sexual subtext in is probably a good choice for a porn parody. While I don’t believe that Hustler’s This Ain’t Ghostbusters XXX will attain the cinematic heights of the actual Ghostbusters (or even the Hustler Avatar porn), it might introduce Ghostbusters to a new generation. It will give an excellent excuse to run triple features of Ghostbusters, Ghostbusters II, and This Ain’t Ghostbusters XXX. More science fiction porn is always a positive in my book.
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Jun 052011
FYI, in case you have been living under a bridge and/or don’t get HBO, Game of Thrones, based on the George R. R. Martin series, is the most ridiculously sexy new fandom TV show. One of the best book adaptations ever.
May 092011
Jason Momoa is currently doing a notable turn as the Dothraki horse lord Khal Drogo on Game of Thrones. I always feel odd about movie franchise reboots, so I feel odd about the Conan the Barbarian in 3D project currently in production. Of actors working today, I think Jason Momoa is an appealing choice. There are probably worse fates for an actor than being typecast as the sexy barbarian warrior. Thinking about this, I can’t help but wonder what Arnold Schwartenegger is going to do next. He was a good governator, but I am looking forward to a return to the silver screen, beyond the cameo he did in The Expendables. Maybe it is not fair to bring up superstar Arnold Schwartenegger whenever anybody talks about the Conan reboot with Jason Momoa, but that is just the way it goes with reboots.
May 082011
Yesterday, Gothic.net posed the question: “How long before the fat guy in the goth club has a big cross grease-painted across his whole face?” Today, Gothic.net posted a series of movie posters from the forthcoming Priest movie. Embarrassingly enough, I think these are pretty hot. If the next wave of goth bois can’t resist drawing crosses on their faces, that might not be a bad thing at all. Of course, it will help matters if they look like Paul Bettany. It really is kind of a good look, though, isn’t it. If you can get excited about a warrior priest who combats vampires. Which apparently I can. I do think that the anti-defamation league from True Blood really might need to get on all this vampire hate people seem comfortable with these days, but that is another issue entirely.
May 042011
Obviously Star Wars is the best movie of all time and Darth Vader is the sexiest leading man of all time. Which means it deserves to be commemorated with observances more auspicious than a lisping pun. Get it? May the 4th [insert poor enunciation] May the Force . . . The whole May the 4th/May the Force pun is apparently officially sanctioned or perhaps even comes from Skywalker Ranch in the first place. But it is just wrong. Okay, I’m done now.
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May 032011
Is it wrong that I’m finding the first stills from the just-released Dylan Dog movie really hot? Is it surprising that someone whose perfect crush is Darth Vader would be turned on by getting choked out by a giant demon? I really need to see the Dylan Dog movie.
Until I finish the script I’m working on, I’m chained to this computer and will have to satisfy myself with the photo gallery and featurette on Gothic.net. Dylan Dog is the top of my list, as soon as this is done.
Apr 222011
I confess that I usually find Tumblr blogs poorly-considered and dull. Most Tumblr bloggers just post random things they find from around they web. They have no theme and no credits and no reason anyone but themselves should be interested.
Hot Chicks in Batman Shirts, however, is an inspired Tumblr blog. You wouldn’t realize that there were that many entertaining pics on the web of the bustier sex rocking the Bat signal. But, oh, there are.
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