The day before yesterday, Yahoo reported that scientists from Singapore had figured out how to operate a vibrating jacket on a chicken via web-based controls. They have some plans to study the feasibility of manufacturing wired up pajamas for children whose parents travel often. So absent parents could hug their kids long distance. Aw. I was going to write something cheeky and funny about the obvious eventual sexual uses of cyberhug technology. Only yesterday, Yahoo reported that the Australian government was pleading with Singapore authorities to permit the mother of a smalltime drug smuggler to hug her sun before he is executed by hanging on Friday. Apparently Singapore has a law against physical family contact for death row inmates. Apparently Singapore might really be pressed for cyberhug technology for actual hugging purposes. The rest of the world, of course, is waiting on the edge of their seats, coming up with ways to use the forthcoming devices to touch each other in different ways. Glad I do not live in Singapore.

For those of you who are simultaneously hot for the Svedka Grl and terribly angry at her, there is the Real Doll Doctor Surgery Index. The surgery pages include graphic photo-by-photo how-to information on how to do repairs when you have folded your Real Doll’s stomach, bashed in the back of her head, cracked her ass, torn her vulva, and ripped off a leg. The site seems to suggest that most such damage occurs because owners leave the dolls in the box too long. Or they might just be angry at the box. Also, you must never attempt to fix your Real Doll with Super Glue as it dries all hard and crusty and just messes the whole thing up.

Well, either the mad Sexy Fandom traffic I sent to the Tripping the Rift trailer was too much for Anchor Bay’s servers or there is some other explanation for their site being down.

How is it possible that the first lucky thirteen episodes of Tripping the Rift came out on DVD a few weeks ago and I failed to mention it? Perhaps because I was not really updating for a little while there or perhaps because the show is not too awfully good. I admit I might be biased because I might know some people who work on the show. It just seems like TTR should be a tremendous show, yet it seems to miss the mark somehow. There is the brainy but nearly naked fembot hottie who looks like she could definitely beat the Svedka Grl in a screw off. There is the hackeresque teen reptile goth boy who masturbates to net porn. There is the fat warty centaur chick with too few teeth and too many breasts. There is the gold robot who makes C3PO seem like an Adam Carolla fan. The arch enemies are alien clowns. The whole thing is presided over by Chode, a short purple alien with tentacles on his head and it is strongly implied that he regularly inserts multiple head tentacles into the aforementioned hottie robobabe. Okay, the show is not as go0d as it should be. The alien clowns would make any good juggalo (not to be confused with juggies) cringe and the plots are beyond lame. But the show is so conceptually funny that it is watchable anyway. You can view the trailer at this link.

Thanksgiving is barely over, but it seems the world is getting ready to get into the holidays full tilt. Assuming that by world, one means the fannish segments of the web and the Galleria at Sherman Oaks. Which is how I mean it. This free EroticBPM photo gallery of Bella Starr and Haley stuffing sex toys in each other’s stockings and then stuffing them in each other is still pretty cute.

If there is a nude celeb you are hot for, Mr. Skin has probably unearthed a nice archive of naughty footage of them. Not to mention fun factoids to know and share, such as that Elvira selected her name from a coffee can label as a last minute choice before going on air.

I just recently discovered Asia Argento when my TiVo grabbed B. Monkey and I am surprised that more Hollywood people I know are not in a tizzy over her. The cult movie crew always has nice things to say, but I think the famous director’s daughter could be a very successful blockbuster actress. For now, there are quirky flicks like B. Monkey and a selection of Asia Argento cinematic nude scenes available at Horror Movie Babes.

I’ve looked at a lot of web pages about fandom conventions this month. It got me feeling all nostalgic. One of the things I really looked forward to when I was doing the con circuit was a new issue of Black Leather Times. This means I popped over to check out one of the fall anniversary issues of the BLT web archive. I wish they would post more of the back issues or maybe put out new issues. For now, in honor of the holiday, I recommend reading Amelia G’s humorous suggestions on how to get out of Thanksgiving dinner with the family. My favorite excuse is #7 “When invited (or reprimanded for not calling back until after the event), ask “What holiday? Fine dining in remembrance of my ancesters who committed genicide so I could live in America today? I will not celebrate a Holocaust!”" but “Dye your hair blue, pierce your eyelid, and get a tattoo of your boyfriend’s sexual organs on your nose. Maybe they will be too horrified to invite you back next time.” is mighty fine too.

E/N site Something Awful holds regular Photoshop contests. This Friday, they did a condom wrapper one which was mostly uninspired. Except for the brilliant Rape-Tentacle Strength Trojans with the girl getting romantic with the tentacles art riffing on more traditional Trojans art. That was genius.

I already wrote about the Japanese cherry blossoms of the deai kei or matchmaking industry in Asia. But don’t think it is only the home of tentacle rape and train frottage where dating site gamemasters are creating fake profiles to lure in the unwary. According to a story on Reuters now, a man is suing popular dating site Match.com alleging that they not only had fake profiles of girls who pretended to be interested in him, but they actually sent an employee out on a sham date with him. I don’t know if the employee decided she actually liked him halfway through or if she just couldn’t go through with the job description, but she apparently admitted during their date that she worked for Match.com. Having employees go on dates with customers doesn’t sound exactly like the date bait fraud being alleged in the suit to me. It sounds like an older and more traditional profession from a much less digital age.

Seminal writer Jack Schaefer’s birthday was today. He wrote my favorite Western Shane. Shane was ne of the original bad boys for one to pine for as he rode away on his horse.

Jack Warner Schaefer (November 19, 1907 - January 24, 1991) was a 20th century American author, known for his Westerns. His most famous work may be Shane, which was made into a critically acclaimed movie. He is a graduate of Oberlin College (1929) and attended Columbia University from 1929-30. In addition to writing many novels, he worked as a journalist and freelance writer throughout his career. He was born in Cleveland, Ohio and died of congestive heart failure in Santa Fe, New Mexico. (via Wikipedia)

According to an excellent New York Magazine feature article penned by Julian Dibbell, we may be as close as three years away from an actual proper sexual arousal medication being brought to market. PT-141 is still undergoing clinical trials, but word is that the sex drug makes users feel, not only sexually excited, but just plain good. Oddly enough, this Viagra alternative comes in an inhaler. The nightclub possibilities of something which makes users both happy and horny and comes in an inhaler … well, let’s just say the possibilities are both obvious and inevitable and, as CFIDS can impact an individual’s sexual energy the same as it does everyday energies, I can’t help feeling that is a good thing. I mustn’t forget to mention that PT141 appears in current clinical trials to work on both men and women, as the nasal spray goes to the brain and rather than the sex organs to actual create the type of excitement one would feel when wholly naturally extremely in the mood. I’m guessing the idea is that it is supposed to be like cocaine without the erectile dysfunction and possibly without the ranting or overly effusive anecdotes. Then again, people on the make do tend to rant and tell overly effusive anecdotes anyway. Maybe just without the ED.

It has been a little while since I posted a gallery I like, so here is a free gallery featuring ethereal altmodel Voltaire with her interesting fantasy cat tattoo work.

Sci Fi Conventions is a helpful little site which gives a really nice overview of what a newcomer to fandom (or at least to cons) can expect from the convention experience. There are sites with more complete calendars of events, but this site has really informative articles on how to both attend and run conventions. For example, they offer a breakdown of types of conventions, listing the following:

Literary Convention: Celebrating books and authors of science fiction, speculative fiction, fantasy and/or horror. Guests are usually authors and events may include readings from their works, workshops and classes for writers, etc.

Media Convention: Celebrating media sci-fi (television and movies). Guests may include actors, writers, directors and producers, etc. Events usually include autograph sessions and Question and Answer sessions with the guests.

Comic Book Convention: Celebrates the comic book medium - may also include animation (especially Japanese animation aka Anime). Guests usually include the writers, artists, animations, etc.

Gaming Convention: May or may not include guests such as game creators. Gaming conventions are usually smaller events designed to let fans play card games, role play games, and/or computer games in the sci-fi, fantasy/horror genres.

My favorite types of conventions are those which combine a few of the above, although cons near me now are primarily or the Media Convention variety. Geography does play a part. My favorite part of the scificonventions.com site is the FAQ on what to wear: “Jeans and tee-shirts are the standard convention uniform, but any comfortable clothing goes. Costumes are also popular - dressing as your favorite character can be a lot of fun and might even win you a prize in a costume contest! The only thing not to wear is anything that would be considered obscene or too revealing - if your mother would wear it in public, there is a good chance you’ll be asked to change by the convention staff. Comfortable shoes are always a good idea as well.” I think they meant if your mother would not wear it in public, but it is possible that all the moms they know are hos. In my younger and wilder (and thinner) days, I used to regularly have hotel security or convention personnel ask me to change my clothes and peace bond my weapons. Good times.

While ego searching on Google, I discovered a site called Mars Dust. Specifically I discovered an oldish editorial by MarsDust editor-in-chief Jason Prentice Ahlquist on the topic of ghettoization in fandom. The editorial discusses mapping what territory is encompassed by fandom and includes a humorous series of examples of the oddly divisive thinking which sometimes infects our community. Examples start with “Those media fandom people are just spectators. I’m sick of seeing them come to our literary conventions.” There is also “Masquerade? No longer relevant. Cosplay is where it’s at. What do you mean what’s the difference? Isn’t it obvious?” “What are you talking about? CSI isn’t a science fiction show. I don’t care if they speculate on forensic science techniques that don’t exist yet. Where are the robots and laser swords?” and the priceless “I’m tired of all the goth people running around our conventions, creating a disturbance, treating the place like a vampire pickup bar. What do they have to do with fandom anyway?” And the defining “I’m Pretty and You’re Making the Convention Smell Like Feet Projects.” As someone who deeply believes in the plusses of multifaceted fandom, I was pleased to read an eloquent article espousing a view I share. The Mars Dust site has been redesigned since the time of this editorial, so here is the link to their real front page, but read the article I am talking about first. Edit: After hunting around, I found the current link to the article with a photo of what I presume to be an extremely cute sexy editor.

I’ve been informed that I violated various Los Angeles city ordinances by mentioning HBO’s hit show Entourage without mentioning that Jeremy Piven is brilliant in his role as the Machiavellian talent agent Ari Gold who answers his stylish cell phone with “You’ve got Gold” and whose idea of pillow talk with his wife is, “I’m as hard as R. Kelly at recess.” I’m in Burbank right now, but the same Hollywood rules apply. So please allow me to direct you to, not only the Jeremy Piven official Entourage interview, but also to lhiob.com where you may download the Ari Let’s Hug It Out Bitch ringtone for your cell. You can also check out the LHIOB song which is an oddly catchy yet simultaneously grating edit of samples from the show over a percussive beat. Plus bonus buddy icons and a link to the rooftop golf flash game.

Kevin Dillon and Matt Dillon’s great uncle Alex Raymond was the creator of the Flash Gordon comic strip. Raymond’s sister Bea Dillon was the grandmother of Kevin and Matt. Alex Raymond’s other sibling Jim drew Blondie for Chic Young for approximately forty years. In 1933, Alex Raymond, who had been ghost illustrating for Blondie, was tapped, along with writer Don Moore to develop a property to compete with Buck Rogers. Thus was Flash Gordon birthed. Alex Raymond also drew the Secret Agent X9, written by hardboiled noir great Dashiell Hammett. Raymond’s creative output was sadly cut short by an untimely car accident.

For those of you who missed the Jesse Jane episode of Entourage, I recommend picking up the series on DVD. The series is set in the milieu of Hollywood hipsters and movie makers. The basic premise is that a young movie star in the making is graduating from indie films to big budget and his less successful actor brother and his two best friends from childhood are along for the ride. The brother is poignantly played by Kevin Dillon, brother of megahottie Matt Dillon. Episode 17, however, takes the star, his brother, his two best friends, and their agent and publicist out of familiar Hollywood surroundings and plunges them into the chaos that is the San Diego Comic Con. In this unfamiliar environment, the less successful older brother Johnny Drama is the star because of his role on a show called Viking Quest. Pornstar Jesse Jane is there to promote a comic book where she and her busty friends appear as the Pussy Patrol. At least for the purposes of this episode of Entourage, she is a fandom girl and is impressed by Drama’s Viking Quest cred and, of course, she “likes” younger brother Vince, placed by megahottie Adrian Grenier. These are her motivations for participating in the aforementioned strap-on exercise intended to convince RJ Spencer Harry Knowles to endorse Vinnie Chase as a fine choice to play Aquaman in the James Cameron epic. Plus, my guess is Jesse Jane is a perv. Sadly, it appears that Viking Quest, Pussy Patrol, and the Aquaman movie are all fictional.

The Zathura site features a creative gallery of flash games. More importantly, did any of you see the episode of The Apprentice where one of the supposed businesswomen on the show kept pronouncing Zathura as Zenthura in her presentation to Jon Favreau? Did any of you see the episode of Entourage where pornstar Jesse Jane and two comely friends triple team an aggressively blatant stand-in for Harry Knowles with a strap-on? Harry Knowles being the editor of popular digizine Ain’t it Cool News. Well, Ain’t it Cool News describes Zathura as, “one of those “Kid Again” movies that makes you feel 8 years old as you sit there, eyes agape at the world before you. You marvel at the vast gorgeousness of Saturn, at the fleet of Zorgon ships, at the Stan Winston creature effects and you begin to forget that this floating house ever was rooted on earth, because clearly, it belongs in space. And all the while you’re laughing, because Zathura contains a constant barrage of jokes, some cleverly disguised gags for adults mixed into a healthy amount of bits for all ages.” So, either Zathura is going to be fabulous when it opens today, or Jesse Jane did Jon Favreau a favor and put in a good word with Harry Knowles for him.

Tonight is the Star Wars episode of The Apprentice. For those of you who have not taken note of anything not sf-related in the last couple of years, The Apprentice is a reality show starring Donald Trump. He and two of his top executives, George Ross and Carolyn Kepcher, judge a group of eighteen potential employees of the Trump organization. The contestants are split into two teams and each contestant takes a turn as project manager, as the teams compete on specific tasks. Tasks may include designing a float to promote the Zathura movie or running a lemonade stand. Over the time the show has been on the air, more and more tasks appear to have some sort of corporate sponsorship. I rather liked the more simple tasks which seemed like greater tests of the entrepreneurial spirit, but this week’s tie-in speaks to my heart. As most of you are aware, I am sincerely hot for sexy and bold Darth Vader. Seeing him and the Donald team up in the promo spots for tonight’s special show is giving me really disturbing double team fantasies. You can vote for your favorite promo spot on the NBC site now. The Darth side of the Force features Darth as the project manager on the Death Star project using the force to get one of the stormtroopers to take responsiblity for the poor marketing on that task. The Task of the Clones features Darth Vader in the Carolyn Kepcher executive role threatening to chop whichever stormtrooper contestant Donald Trump fires into tiny pieces with a light saber. And The Donald Strikes Back features Trump firing Chewbacca for speaking unclearly and having poor hygiene in the workplace. Chewie leaves trailing a little pink rolling suitcase into the elevator. They are all funny, but The Darth Side of the Force got my vote. There is nothing like a darkly sexy controlling man in an armored costume. At least, in fantasyland. In real life, I suppose Darth would be the painfully hot but insufferable old flame I told horror stories about. Thank goodness for fantasy.

Yes, Girls of Gaming #3 might be a PDF, but there are still two different collectible covers. One highlights the girls of Deathwatch and one highlights the girls of Dead or Alive 4. Deathwatch looks hotter, if you had any question on that point. This particular issue also features “Bonus Mature Content” and the preview clearly shows drawings of hot babes with black boxes over what is presumably their nipples. One assumes that there are no black boxes in the actual digital girlie mag. I am so relieved that they warned me about the mature content of this issue, as opposed to the previous two issues of this forward-thinking idoru stroke mag.

Slashdong reminded me that I hadn’t talked about the Svedka robot babe yet. Los Angeles currently has its fair share of billboards featuring pinups of this fembot hottie. The concept is that, in the future, there is a brief new alcohol prohibition that only Svedka is courageous enough to continue distilling during. Svedka vodka and the Svedka robo-ho SVEDKA-Grl combine with legalized social smoking, re-legalized boozing, queer fashion, porn, paparazzi extermination, and free plastic surgery to take the party to the next level. Apparently Swedish vodka makers have seen the future and the future is West Hollywood. No fatties allowed, but that hot chick bot is quite sexy and, remember, plastic surgery is free in this future paradise. If you are young and effing hot, feel free to lie about your age to gain admission to the Svedka site.

Oh, how I love Slashdong. Let me count the ways. It is on the cutting edge of useful technology, it is educational, and the writing is funny. Slashdong’s most recent sex tech endeavor is bringing what they term BeepSex to the masses. Essentially, as I understand it, this involves using a fairly old programming language to run a vibrator based on audio input. Apparently the system works best when the vibration device is run by electronic music. Slashdong expresses love for techno with poetry, “Mmmmm lordy, do I love the beepy shit. Most of the music I listen to these days can be defined as such. I’ve moved beyond instruments, beyond vocals, to the point where I can be completely happy listening to something that most people would mistake for a broken CD player being fisted by angry robots.” A broken CD player being fisted by angry robots? Sounds a lot like a relative of the Frankenwand. Where do I sign up?! Slashdong carefully explains the methodology for instantly improving your non-guitar-driven industrial music show experience. Just add sound-driven sexual vibrations. Diagrams are included. No Mac option, however, nanny, nanny, boo, boo. You would expect me to me a Mac person, but I’m not.

A true testament to human ingenuity and San Francisco know-how is the Frankenwand. “Half power tool; half vibrator — FrankenWand always gets the job done right; and without getting to much in the way. The grip converts from pistol grip to inline grip with the touch of a button, for even the toughest vibrating jobs. And the infinitely variable speed control gets her off just the way she likes it, every time!” It is essentially a drill which powers a wand with a ball on the end. For external use only, ladies.

FrankenWand Specifications:
power 7.2V NiCd cells
grip pistol or in-line
speed 300 to 10000 RPM, infinitely variable
wand length 0.96m (38″)

I know I wrote that I wasn’t going to get into specifics, but it is both unconscionable and pathetic for an organization to copy not only site text buzzwords like badass but themes from reviews. I know it is called “sales copy” in the trade, but it is not supposed to literally be copied. The fashionista’s bible Fashiontribes describes itself as, “Insider fashion, lifestyle, pop culture and entertainment scoops from New York City and around the world.” In October, Fashiontribes wrote up the new Blue Blood swag saying, “Skull Hoodies & Pins from Blue Blood Magazine’s Boutique. Blend Warmth & Edginess in a Cute Hoodie. For both a Goth Princess or a Downtown Fashion Expert. You have your cozy side & you’ve got your riot grrl side. Now, the two can happily co-exist as you don one of Blue Blood Magazine’s new Skull Hoodies - at BlueBloodBoutique.com. This hoodie is so soft and warm…” So the lame ripoff company copies not only the original concept and descriptive text, but they also copy the impressions Fashiontribes wrote about. Truly sad on so many levels.

A peculiarity of the internet is that ideas get copied so quickly. I’ve seen words from my own little blog repeated elsewhere without attribution. But it is much worse when certain corporations target specific cottage industry people and repeatedly copy their creativity. Creative people will lose their desire to be creative if there are mere nanoseconds between when the roaring crowd is complimenting them on their creations and when the roaring crowd has forgotten where the idea originated and is complimenting some knockoff. Don’t get me wrong. I work in television and it is hard to do something original and get it out there. When one of my favorite books is adapted, I approach the movie or TV version with optimism.

But think how boring it would be if every single episode of CSI riffed on Raymond Chandler. Or, worse yet, if every single episode riffed on a story written by the same specific living writer. It would be unbelievably lame and, additionally, that one tormented specific living author would stop writing. The whole exercise would serve to make the TV show suck and make the source of the creative ideas dry up.

On advice of counsel, you will not see my precise thoughts about a lame rip-off site putting out some seriously ugly skull designs in response to the hot new Blue Blood Boutique skull designs. Longtime readers of Sexy Fandom certainly know what a big fan I am of Blue Blood, but I’m a fan for a reason. I love art which speaks to me. Everybody needs a paycheck and inspiration can strike from the strangest places, but I have no love for poorly conceived photocopies. And, when a television writer says something is a lame ripoff, those are strong words indeed.

On November 2, 2001, Monsters, Inc. debuted with the best ticket sales ever for an animated film. There is no reason that should make this a memorable date, yet that factoid appears in the Free Encyclopedia as an important event associated with the second day of the eleventh month of our calendar. Mostly, I wanted an excuse to post a funny monster thumbnail. (via Wikipedia sort of)

On November first of the year 1512, the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel, painted by Michelangelo, was exhibited to the public for the first time.

In 1508 Michelangelo was commissioned by Pope Julius II to paint the vault, or ceiling of the chapel. It took him until 1512 to complete. To be able to reach the ceiling, Michelangelo needed a support; the first idea was by Bramante, who wanted to build for him a special scaffold, suspended in the air with ropes. But Michelangelo suspected that this would leave holes in the ceiling once the work was ended, so he built a scaffold of his own, a flat wooden platform on brackets built out from holes in the wall, high up near the top of the windows. He stood on this scaffolding while he painted.

The first layer of plaster began to grow mold because it was too wet. Michelangelo had to remove it and start again, but he tried a new mixture, called intonaco, created by one of his assistants, Jacopo l’Indaco. This one not only resisted mold, but also entered the Italian building tradition (and is still now in use). Michelangelo used bright colors, easily visible from the floor.

On the lowest part of the ceiling he painted the ancestors of Christ. Above this he alternated male and female prophets, with Jonah over the altar. On the highest section Michelangelo painted nine stories from the Book of Genesis.

Michelangelo was employed to paint only 12 figures, the Apostles, but when the work was finished there were more than 300. His figures showed the creation, Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden and the Great Flood. The sketches are a really precious and curious document. Michelangelo used male models, even for the females, because female models were more rare and costly than male ones. (via Wikipedia)