This year is not a leap year. Leap years have an extra day after the 28th of February. A February 29 every four years keeps the calendar year in sync with the actual year, rotations of the earth, seasons, and other more traditional indicators of time. Easter is supposed to be celebrated on the Sunday after the fourteenth day of the moon that falls on or after March 21. The Gregorian calendar sees to it that Easter continues to fall on the vernal equinox. The equinox is when the sun rises directly in the east and sets directly in the west. In Japan, the vernal equinox is a national holiday for honoring one’s ancestors and visiting their (hopefully still interred) relatives’ graves.

Those who are born on a leap day usually celebrate their birthdays on February 28 during non-leap years. In the musical The Pirates of Penzance, the star Frederic was born on a leap day and apprenticed to pirates until he was twenty-one. Unfortunately for Fred, the pirates did not follow the leap day custom of celebrating leap day birthdays on the twenty-eighth. So he was set to be apprenticed to pirates until he was about eighty-four years old.

I know some deviants who got married on a leap day. I’d advise them to celebrate on Feb 28, so I’m going to sent happy anniversary wishes their way digitally now. I think if they don’t do that wacky sub-28-for-29 thing, then they have been married for a bit over three years. Congrats guys.

Don’t want to slack on the naughtiness here at Sexy Fandom. I think I’ll share a couple of Water Bondage galleries with you this week. In keeping with the whole water nymphs theme. Check out Crystal Frost. I love her fantasy swords and sorcery sounding moniker.

Wait a minute. The Starbucks business books out there describe their logo chick as being a siren, but I think she is actually a melusine or nixie. Given the two tails thing and all.

In European legends and folklore, Melusine (or Melusina) is the name of a spirit of fresh waters, in sacred springs and rivers. She is usually depicted either as a mermaid-like creature with two tails or a woman who was half-serpent. She is also sometimes depicted with wings.

Melusine is sometimes used as a heraldic figure, typically in German and Scandinavian coats-of-arms, where she supports one scaly tail in each arm. She may appear crowned. The Coat of Arms of Warsaw is variously said to feature a mermaid or a siren (identified in Polish as a syrenka) very much like a depiction of Melusine, brandishing a sword and shield. She is the water-spirit from the Vistula who identified the proper site for the city to Boreslaus of Masovia in the late 13th century. Ferenc Frangepán, Archbishop of Kalocsa in Hungary, included in his will of 1543 a series of seven tapestries representing the story of “The Beautiful Melusina.”

The Archbishop’s tapestries will have shown the most famous literary version of Melusine tales, that of Jean d’Arras, compiled about 1382 - 1394 and worked into a collection of “spinning yarns” told by ladies at their spinning. The tale was translated into English about 1500, and often printed in the 15th and 16th century. (There is also a prose version called the Chronique de la princesse.)

It tells how Elynas, the King of Albany (a poetical euphemism for Scotland) went hunting one day and came across a beautiful lady in the forest. She was Melusine’s mother, Pressyne. He persuaded her to marry him but she agreed, only on the promise — for there is often a hard and fatal condition attached to any pairing of fay and mortal — that he must not enter her chamber when she birthed or bathed her children. She gave birth to triplets. When he violated this taboo, Pressyne left the kingdom, together with her three daughters, and traveled to the lost Isle of Avalon.

The three girls, Melusine, Melior, and Palatyne grew up in Avalon. On their fifteenth birthday, Melusine, the eldest, asked why they had been taken to Avalon. Upon hearing of their father’s broken promise, Melusine sought revenge. She and her sisters captured Elynas and locked him, with his riches, in a mountain. Pressyne became enraged when she learned what the girls had done, and punished them for their disrespect to their father. Melusine was condemned to take the form of a serpent from the waist down every Saturday.

Raymond of Poitou came across Melusine in a forest in France, and proposed marriage. Just as her mother had done, she laid a condition, that he must never enter her chamber on a Saturday. He broke the promise and saw her in the form of a part-woman part-serpent. She forgave him. Only when, during a disagreement with her, he called her a “serpent” in front of his court, did she assume the form of a dragon, provide him with two magic rings and fly off, never to return. Men can be such dicks.

Melusine myths are especially connected with the northern, most Celtic areas of Gaul and the Low Countries. When Count Siegfried of the Ardennes bought the feudal rights to Luxembourg in 963, his name became connected with the local version of Melusine. In 1997 Luxembourg issued a postage stamp commemorating this Melusina, with essentially the same magic gifts as the ancestress of the Lusignans. This Melusina magically made the castle of Bock castle appear the morning after their wedding. On her terms of marriage, she too required one day of absolute privacy each week. Alas, Sigefroid, as the Luxembourgeois call him, “could not resist temptation, and on one of the forbidden days he spied on her in her bath and discovered her to be a mermaid. When he let out a surprised cry, Melusina caught sight of him, and her bath immediately sank into the solid rock, carrying her with it. Melusina surfaces briefly every seven years as a beautiful woman or as a serpent, holding a small golden key in her mouth. Whoever takes the key from her will set her free and may claim her as his bride.” (Yes, the script of Splash is based on this tale. Putting a liberal arts education to good use.)

Martin Luther knew and believed in the story of another version of Melusine, die Melusina zu Lucelberg (Lucelberg in Silesia), whom he referred to several times, as a succubus. Goethe wrote the tale of Die Neue Melusine in 1807 and published it as part of Wilhelm Meisters Wanderjahre. The playwight Grillparzner brought Goethe’s tale to the stage and Felix Mendelssohn provided a concert overture “The Fair Melusina,” his Opus 32.

Melusine is one of the pre-Christian water-faeries who were sometimes responsible for changelings. The “Lady of the Lake,” who spirited away the infant Lancelot and raised the child, was such a water nymph. This proves that slutty snake chicks raise boys with no respect for the bonds of holdy matrimony. “Melusina” would seem to be an uneasy name for a girl-child in these areas of Europe, but the Duchess of Kendal, George I of England’s German mistress, was christened Ehrengard Melusina von der Schulenburg in 1667. (via Wikipedia)

A mermaid is a legendary creature with a female human head and torso (if it’s male, it’s called a merman) and the tail of a fish, which inhabits the water. Some sailors claim to have seen mermaids; what they actually saw are probably manatees. A freshwater mermaid-like creature having two tails is a melusine, or a Nixie.

In the 19th century, P. T. Barnum displayed in his museum a taxidermy hoax that was represented as the Feejee (He thought suckers could not pronouce Figi.) Mermaid.

Sirens in folklore are similar creatures to mermaids. Other related types of mythical or legendary creature are water nymphs or the Banshee (on land).

Mermaids first appeared historically in Assyria, ca. 1000 BCE. Atargatis, the mother of legendary Assyrian queen Semiramis, was a goddess who loved a mortal shepherd and in the process killed him. Ashamed, she jumped into a lake to take the form of a fish, but the waters would not conceal her divine nature. Thereafter, she took the form of a mermaid - human above the waist, fish below, though the earliest representations of Atargatis showed her as being a fish with a human head and legs, similar to the Babylonian Ea, precursor of the Biblical Noah. The Greeks recognized Atargatis under the name Derketo, where she was often conflated with Aphrodite.

Mermaids are present in many books and films, becoming one of the most popular creatures of pop culture. The first time a mermaid was envisioned within her own culture was apparently the one in The Little Mermaid of Hans Christian Andersen, which was embodied in a bronze sculpture in Copenhagen harbor and much later was turned into a Disney movie of the same name. Other popular movies to feature a mermaid were Miranda, starring Glynis Johns and Splash, starring Daryl Hannah. L. Frank Baum (creator of Oz) wrote a novel about merfolk, The Sea Fairies. Mermaids and Mermen (called Merpeople) are present in the Harry Potter series, specifically in Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. For many years, The comic book hero Superman had a romantic love interest with a mermaid woman called Lori Lemaris (one of Superman’s “LL” connections: Lex Luthor, Lana Lang, Lois Lane, Lori Lemaris). The name Lori Lemaris was probably drawn from Lorelei rock in the Rhine added to maris from the Latin mare meaning ocean. Advertising characters who were ever shown on any of the television commercials such as Chicken of the Sea Mermaid who was the cartoon mascot.

A shield and sword-wielding mermaid (Syrenka) is the official Coat of Arms of Warsaw, the capital of Poland.

It is said in Japan that eating the flesh of a Mermaid can grant unaging immortality. Queequeg and I want to go on a gourmet tour of Japan. (via Wikipedia)

In Greek mythology, the Sirens or Seirenes were sea nymphs who lived on an island called Sirenum scopuli which was surrounded by cliffs and rocks. Approaching sailors were drawn to them by their enchanting singing, causing them to sail on the cliffs and drown. They were considered the daughters of Achelous or Phorcys. Their individual names are variously reported as Aglaope, Leucosia, Parthenope, Pisinoe, and Thelxiepia. According to some versions, they were playmates of a young Persephone and were changed into the monsters of lore by Demeter for not interfering when Persephone was abducted.

The phrase “Siren song” refers to an appeal that is hard to resist but that, if heeded, will lead to a bad result.

In early art, the Sirens were represented as birds with the heads, and sometimes the breasts, of women. Later, they were represented as female figures with the legs of birds, with or without wings. The 10th century encyclopedia Suda says that from their chests up Sirens had the form of sparrows, below they were women, or, alternatively, that they were little birds with women’s faces. Birds were chosen because of their characteristic beautiful voice. However, later in history Sirens were sometimes also depicted as beautiful women (whose bodies, not only their voices, are seductive), or even as mermaids (half woman, half fish). The fact that in some languages (such as French) the word for mermaid is Siren adds to this confusion.

Odysseus escaped the Sirens by having all his sailors plug their ears with wax and tie him to the mast. He was curious as to what the Sirens sounded like. When he heard their beautiful music, he ordered the sailors to untie him but they ignored him. When they had passed out of earshot, Odysseus stopped thrashing about and calmed down, and was released. Jason had been warned by Chiron that Orpheus would be necessary in his journey. When Orpheus heard their voices, he withdrew his lyre and played his music more beautifully than they, drowning out their music. It is said that after a ship successfully sailed by the Sirens, they drowned themselves for their failure. Traditions associate this ship with both Jason and Odysseus. (via Wikipedia)

What exactly is that on the Starbucks logo? It looks like some fantasy femme we ought to be lusting after, but it is unclear what sort. Many people mistakenly believe that the Starbucks chick is a mermaid. She is not a mermaid. She is a siren. Early versions of her had two visible tails, rather than a mermaid’s single tail.

Early versions of the Starbucks logo also featured two visible nipples. The logo was redone to put the siren’s hair demurely over her breasts. Later the logo was redone again to eradicate the siren’s navel.

Given that the siren was a mythical creature who led sailors to a watery grave with the lure of her magical song, she seems like an odd choice for a logo. Maybe the idea was that Starbucks customers would become good harpooners like Queequeg through the consumption of magical caffeine. Or perhaps something more sinister. One of those.

There are people who assume that Starbucks Coffee was named after the Lieutenant in Battlestar Galactica. There is apparently even a scene in a Starbucks in the revamped new version of the series. The coffee, however, did not receive its name from a science fiction serial.

There are also people who assume that Starbucks Coffee was named after Starbuck in Herman Melville’s Moby Dick. This is kind of true. The most common story of how the name came to be is that Starbuck was a Melville character who loved coffee. If you read Moby Dick, however, you will find dickall in the way of references to Starbuck drinking coffee.

Apparently the actual true story of how Starbucks Coffee was named after a Moby Dick character is kind of nonsensical. As real life often is. The founders of Starbucks were casting about for a name and one of them, being a Melville fan and perhaps wanting to use that English degree for something, suggested Pequod for the name. If you are looking blank right now, that was the name of the ship. Yes, terrible idea and nixed by the others involved. They decided they wanted something with local Seattle flavor, so they settled on Starbo after the name of a local mining camp. The dude who was into Melville suggested they transmogrify that into Starbucks.

I wonder if they had to explain to locals how the hell that had local color. Turned out to be a great name though.

Too many fervent masturbators have written academic treatises about the homoerotic undercurrents in the relationship between Richard Hatch’s Apollo and Dirk Benedict’s Starbuck, but did the Sci Fi Channel really have to thwart their fantasizing by turning Starbuck into a girl? I’m all for feminism, but I don’t understand remaking things when the object is to totally change them rather than simply update them. I won’t watch more than a couple of episodes of that travesty, unless I’m being paid to write an episode. From what little I have seen though and what I’ve heard from friends, the chick Starbuck has like one ass-kicking moment in the whole show and spends the rest of the time adding sexual spice that morons believe could not have been shown in the 70’s. The saving grace is supposed to be that the new version is darker than the old one. Like we really need a lot more darkness in our lives in 2005. Then again, I’m having my period and a really bad CFIDS day today. Maybe the new series is fine.

Science fiction fandom button makers everywhere would have made fewer sales had Hunter S. Thompson never written the immortal words, “When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.” I am so sad that this brilliant writer took his own life. It seems right that he chose the firearm as his method of self-disposal, but what terrible times we live in that such a great man and tenacious fighter would just give up.

I suppose his last book Hey Rube: Blood Sport, the Bush Doctrine, and the Downward Spiral of Dumbness a.k.a. Modern History from the Sports Desk was more than just his usual critique of a judgemental world of inadequate integrity. I guess it was a suicide note of sorts. I want to say something more about this, but I find myself at an uncharacteristic loss for words, just groping for something to make this tragedy okay. I believe in the right of the individual to take his own life, but for Hunter S. Thompson to have wanted to do so is a tragedy.

Peeved I suppose at being outgrossed at the box office by Battlestar Galactica, George Lucas and the Star Wars folks had to sue Glen A. Larsen and the Battlestar Galactica people. Never mind that much of Star Wars was a knockoff of Flash Gordon and that Lucas would have done a Flash Gordon movie instead if Dino de Laurentis who owned the Flash Gordon option at the time hadn’t thought his take on Flash was too pussy. Never mind that Alan Dean Foster actually wrote Star Wars and not George Lucas and that it took many years of Foster writing best-selling novels before it was publicly acknowledged that he wrote the first Star Wars flick. Never mind that it was James Cameron script doctor and former Rolling Stone writer Jay Cocks who came up with the whole “In a galaxy far far away” thing. Never mind that Battlestar Galactica owes a much more blatant creative debt to various religious stories including the Jewish Diaspora and the Mormon quest for the thirteenth tribe and maybe to Herman Melville. Never mind all that because the Star Wars lawyers thought they were able to note thirty-four distinct copyright violations in the Battlestar Galactica series. Vader’s Fist lost its case against Apollo and Starbuck, but only after the series had been cancelled.

The cylon on the cover of the Battlestar Galactica digitally remastered DVD collection (complete minus the earth ones) does look a fuck of a lot like a Stormtrooper though, doesn’t he?

The original Battlestar Galactica had trouble deciding if it wanted to be a film or a television series. There are very real budget and story structure differences between the two, under normal circumstances. Battlestar Galactica pretty much kick-started the whole mini-series thing. The miniseries lies somewhere between traditional episodic television and movies. Without Battlestar Galactica, we probably would not have shows today like The Sopranos and all the historical drama series which are the bread and butter of the cable networks. The first episode of Battlestar Galactica cost seven million dollars to produce, so it was given a couple of theatrical releases with the intent of making back all those clams spent on it. In 1978, the theatrical release of the Battlestar Galactica pilot pulled in more Earth currency in most markets than Star Wars. Later episodes ran a mere million a piece. The show was cancelled despite excellent ratings and replaced by Mork & Mindy. This is why I always tell friends not to go into the business side of television; it makes people crazy and stupid. Needless to say, Mork & Mindy did much much much less well in Battlestar Galactica’s timeslot than its predecessor.

Both Flesh Gordon and Star Wars were inspired by Flash Gordon. Which was inspired by Buck Rogers.

Flash Gordon was a science fiction comic strip originally drawn by Alex Raymond, first published on January 7, 1934. Although created to compete with Buck Rogers, Flash Gordon had much more sophisticated art and outlasted its inspiration.

In his youth, George Lucas was a fan of the Flash Gordon serials, and once wanted to adapt it to the screen as part of his modern-day myth. Dino De Laurentiis, who owned the rights, was not interested in Lucas’s interpretation, so Lucas wrote Star Wars instead, which borrowed liberally from the serials. The opening expository roll-up that appeared in episodes of Flash Gordon Conquers the Universe became the now-famous opening crawl of each Star Wars episode. Flash Gordon and Dale Arden inspired not only Luke Skywalker and Princess Leia, but also their parents, Anakin Skywalker and Padme Amidala.

The comics followed the adventures of Flash Gordon, for whom the series was named, and his companions Dr. Hans Zarkov and Dale Arden. The story begins with Dr. Zarkov’s invention of a rocket ship, in which the three of them make a journey to the planet Mongo, where they are stranded. Mongo is inhabited by a number of different cultures, some quite technologically advanced, that have been falling one by one under the domination of the vicious tyrant Ming the Merciless.

The three Earthpeople are befriended shortly after their arrival by Prince Barin, rightful heir to the throne that Ming has taken. Ming banishes Prince Barin and his followers — including Ming’s own daughter, Aura, Barin’s bride — to the forest realm of Arboria, and the three join in Barin’s quest to topple Ming.

In 1995, the strip was one of 20 included in the Comic Strip Classics series of commemorative postage stamps.

It was made into three serials starring Buster Crabbe from 1936 to 1940: Flash Gordon (1936), Flash Gordon’s Trip to Mars (1938), and Flash Gordon Conquers the Universe (1940).

A 1957 film adaptation starred Steve Holland, who also starred in a 1954-1955 TV series which ran for 39 episodes and is, to date, the only live-action series based upon the character. The series had the distinction of being filmed in West Berlin, less than a decade after the end of World War II.

A semi-pornographic parody called Flesh Gordon was released in 1972. It became a cult classic and was followed in the 1980’s by a sequel.

In 1979, Filmation produced an animated series based on the comic strip and the first season is remembered as one of the better efforts on the studio. In the 1986 cartoon Defenders of the Earth, Flash teamed up with fellow King Features heroes The Phantom and Mandrake the Magician.

The 1980 film adaptation stars Sam J. Jones in the title role and also features Melody Anderson as Dale Arden, Topol as Dr. Zarkov, Max von Sydow as Ming, Timothy Dalton as Prince Barin, and Ornella Muti as Aura. Although not a critical success, the film is also noted for its musical score, which was composed and performed by Queen. It also contained a quote which probably sums up the whole Flash Gordon plotline: “Flash, I love you, but we’ve only got fourteen hours to save the Earth.”

In 1988, DC Comics produced a modernized version of the comic strip. It featured a Flash as washed up basketball player who finds new purpose in life on Mongo, which is no threat to Earth, a Dale who is an adventurous reporter who is just as capable as Flash, and a Ming who is less of an Asian stereotype.

In 1996, Hearst Entertainment premiered a Flash Gordon animated television series.

In 2004, Stephen Sommers, director of Van Helsing and The Mummy, purchased the movie rights to Flash Gordon.

In 2005, perhaps we will have a metrosexual cgi Flash played by Brendan Frasier or a Flesh Gordon 3 to go with the new Star Wars sequel. (via Wikipedia sort of )

No site even tangentially about science fiction porn would be complete without a mention of the hardcore classic Flesh Gordon. Supposedly, the original masters for the 1970’s X-rated version have been lost. I saw it at a formative age and I’m pretty sure I saw the original X. I thought the lesbian rape fantasy carpet-munching gangbang was icky. They didn’t do a lot of trimming in the 70’s, if you know what I mean. I’m not sure explicit lesbian forced oral scenes were ever R-rated, not even in the 70’s, so it is probably safe to guess that is what I’ve seen. I know a number of my friends believe they have the proper director’s cut on VHS, so you can probably find one too. Just not from Barnes & Noble or Amazon.

The movie was recut in the 80’s in order to get an R-rated theatrical release. Apparently, Michael Benveniste and Howard Ziehm had spent enough on the sets and special effects and costumes that they felt extra pressure to make the money back. They then tried to put the naughty bits back for DVD release, but supposedly couldn’t find them all.

We’re on an evil ruler kick this month here at Sexy Fandom (that’s the royal ruler “we” by the way), so let me mention William Dennis Hunt who played Emperor Wang the Perverted. He went on to have a recurring role on NYPD Blue and Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, among other credits including Babylon 5 and Critters 3. Anyone who says being in a sex flick will stop your dreams of Hollywood cold … well, anyone who says that just doesn’t know Hollywood. The star of the film didn’t do as much later on as Wang, but Flesh Gordon aka Jason Williams did star in the underrated Vampire at Midnight which I would recommend. Moral of the story is that it is better to be an imperial ruler of the universe, although it is best to be the maverick bad boy friend. Just ask Mark Hamill.

Okay, you’ve celebrated Valentines Day and Lupercalia and now you need the opportunity to laugh about both Hallmark love holidays and fertility. You need look no farther than the the online archive of the old BLT punk rock humor zine I mentioned earlier. The Valentine’s Day/Birth Control issue of BLT is taglined Boyfriends, Lesbians, & Truth. My favorite part includes a recount of why horror effects artist Tom Savini should have worked for Planned Parenthood. Other high points include a lesbian stepmom married to a guy with a vasectomy trying to teach his daughter how to use a condom and a quiz to tell if it’s really love or just too many mind-altering substances.

Today we celebrate Lupercalia. Party time! Bust out your togas and get ready for some drinking and S&M.

The Lupercalia was an annual Roman festival held on February 15 to honour Faunus, god of fertility and forests. Justin Martyr identified Faunus as Lupercus, ‘the one who wards off the wolf’, but his identification is not supported by any earlier classical sources. The festival was celebrated near the cave of Lupercal on the Palatine (one of the seven Roman hills), to expiate and purify new life in the Spring. This festival’s origins are older than the founding of Rome.

The religious ceremonies were directed by the Luperci, the “brothers of the wolf”, priests of Faunus, dressed only in a goatskin. During Lupercalia, a dog and two male goats were sacrificed. Two youths were anointed with the blood, which was wiped off with wool soaked in milk, after which they were expected to smile. They afterwards ran round the Palatine Hill with thongs cut from the sacrificed goats in their hands. These were called Februa. Girls would line up on their route to receive lashes from these whips. This was supposed to ensure fertility. The name of the month of February is derived from the Latin februare, “to purify” (meant as one of the effects of fever, which has the same linguistic root). (via Wikipedia)

I guess, after I much I went on about Star Wars this month, you all know what I’m doing today. The spelling of Valentines Day has always bothered me. VDay is an easy abbreviation. Valentine’s Day with an apostrophe is actually the most correct. But we don’t really know if there is a saint the day refers to and we give valentines which is a plural word. So I refer to the day by the name of the cards I give and not by the name of the saint that neither I nor anyone else living might worship.

Cowboy Bebop is one of the best anime series ever translated into English. The mental chain of association, in case you were wondering, is the klepto gambler character Faye Valentine. The feel of the show is based on 1940’s American jazz tropes. The characters are far more detailed and deeply realized than your standard wide-eyed ass-kicking girl or tentacle rape masterpiece. The lead character is a bounty hunter ex-mobster named Spike Spiegel who has a poetic soul. If that is not recommendation enough, once you get far enough into the series, you neet Spike’s arch enemy and ex-friend Vicious who has that brutal and cold-hearted femmey anime boy thing going for him. Of course, the two fell out over a girl, but now they have to hang a bunch of morals on their differences. This series is so well-written and well-translated that it is almost inconceivable that it was originally created for the Japanese market.

When Cowboy Bebop first aired, the Japanese station it was on inexplicably ran a random assortment of episodes and did not show the whole thing. It later ran in its entirety on a Japanese satellite network. In America, Cartoon Network took a bit of a risk including the Cowboy Bebop series in its Adult Swim programming. With Cowboy Bebop’s quality, I don’t think they took much of a risk, but, given how television execs think, this was quite a leap of faith.

Ever wonder why your VDay cards have hearts on them?

In the Bible, and in much later literature, the heart is used as a metaphor to refer to the moral core of a human being. This is true from the earliest passages; Genesis 6:5 situates the thoughts of evil men in their hearts, and Exodus 5 through 12 speak repeatedly of the Lord “hardening Pharaoh’s heart;” by this it is meant that God made Pharaoh resolve not to let the Israelite slaves leave Egypt, in order to bring judgment against him. In Egyptian mythology, the heart was weighed in a balance against the feather of Maat, symbolising truth, in the judgment of the dead in the Egyptian Book of the Dead. Similarly, in Jeremiah 17:9, we are told that the “heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked”; and that the Lord is the judge who “tries” the human heart.

The Roman physician Galen considered the heart to be the seat of the emotions; the Stoics taught that the heart was the seat of the human soul. (Galen also located the seat of the passions in the liver, and the seat of reason in the brain.) While Galen’s identification with the heart and emotion were proposed as a part of his theory of the circulatory system, the Biblical text, this traditional Western medicine, and similar literary usages have caused the heart to be identified as the source of human emotions; and especially, the emotion of love.

This shape also appears on playing cards as the pip of the suit of hearts. What the traditional “heart shape” actually depicts is a matter of some controversy. It only vaguely resembles the human heart. Some claim that it actually depicts the hearts of cattle; while beef hearts resemble the heart shape somewhat more closely, the resemblance is still small. The shape does resemble that of the three-chambered heart of the turtle, and that of the human male prostate gland, but is surely not patterned after either of these organs. There are many claims that the “heart” shape actually depict features of the human female, such as the female’s pubic mound. A Sumerian cuneiform symbol for “woman” closely resembles the heart shape, and is believed to directly depict the pubic mound. Others maintain the heart resembles the shape of the female breasts or the female buttocks, especially when bent over in readiness for copulation; meaning that the heart was a symbol of fertility and maturity as a possible mating partner.

This shape is particularly associated with love poetry; it is often seen on Valentine cards, candy boxes, and similar popular culture artifacts as a symbol of love and romance. (via Wikipedia)

Valentine’s Day, on February 14th, is the traditional day on which lovers in the West let each other know about their love. Its obscure origins as a Catholic Church feast day, said to be in honor of Saint Valentine are discussed below. The day could not have become associated with romantic love before the High Middle Ages when such concepts were formulated.

The day is now most closely associated with the mutual exchange of love notes in the form of “valentines”. Modern Valentine symbols include the heart-shaped outline and the figure of the winged Cupid. Starting in the 19th century, the practice of hand writing notes has largely given way to the exchange of mass-produced greeting cards. The Greeting Card Association estimates that world-wide approximately one billion valentine cards are sent each year, making the day the second largest card-sending holiday of the year behind Christmas. The association also estimates that women purchase approximately 85 percent of all valentines.

In the United States in the second half of the 20th century, the practice of exchanging cards has been extended to include the giving of all manner gifts, usually from the man to the woman. Such gifts typically include roses and chocolate. Starting in the 1980s, the diamond industry began to promote Valentine’s day as occasion for the giving of fine jewelry.

A dinner date on Valentine’s Day is often regarded as indicating that a dating couple are involved in a serious relationship.

In the United States the day has come to be associated as well with a generic Platonic greeting of “Happy Valentine’s”, which may be said by men to their female friends, but rarely to other male friends.

According to the Catholic Encyclopedia (1908), at least three different Saints Valentine, all of them martyrs and all quite obscure, are mentioned in the early martyrologies under the date of February 14th: (1) a priest in Rome who suffered martyrdom in the second half of the 3rd century and was buried on the Via Flaminia, (2) a bishop of Interamna (modern Terni) also suffered martyrdom in the second half of the 3rd century and was also buried on the Via Flaminia, but in a different location than the priest and (3) a martyr in North Africa, about whom little else is known.

The connection between St. Valentine and romantic love is not mentioned in any early histories and is regarded by historians as purely a matter of legend (see below). The feast of St. Valentine was first declared to be on February 14 by Pope Gelasius I around 498. There is a widespread legend that he created the day to counter the practice held on Lupercalia of young men and women pairing off as lovers by drawing their names out of an urn, but this practice is not attested in any sources from that era.

In the 19th century, relics of St. Valentine were donated by Pope Gregory XVI to the Whitefriar Street Carmelite Church in Dublin, Ireland, which has become a popular place of pilgrimage on February 14.

In 1969, as part of a larger effort to pare down the number of saint days of purely legendary origin, the Church removed St. Valentine’s Day as an official holiday from its calendar.

The influential Gnostic teacher Valentinius was a candidate for Bishop of Rome in 143. In his teachings, the marriage bed assumed a central place in his version of Christian love, an emphasis sharply in contrast with the asceticism of mainstream Christianity. Stephan A. Hoeller, assesses Valentinius on the subject : “In addition to baptism, anointing, eucharist, the initiation of priests and the rites of the dying, the Valentinian Gnosis mentions prominently two great and mysterious sacraments called “redemption” (apolytrosis) and “bridal chamber” respectively”

The first recorded association of St. Valentine’s Day with romantic love was in the 14th century in England and France, where it was believed that February 14 was the day on which birds paired off to mate. This belief is mentioned in the writings of Geoffrey Chaucer in the 14th century, who wrote in the Parlement of Foules that “For this was sent on Seynt Valentyne’s day/Whan every foul cometh ther to choose his mate” It was common during that era for lovers to exchange notes on this day and to call each other their “Valentines”. A 14th century valentine is said to be in the collection of the British Library. It is probable that many of the legends about St. Valentine were invented during this period. Among the legends are ones that assert that:

On the evening before St. Valentine was to be martyred for being a Christian, he passed a love note to his jailer’s daughter which read “From Your Valentine”. During a ban on marriages of Roman soldiers by the Emperor Claudius II, St. Valentine secretly helped arrange marriages. In most versions of these legends, February 14 is the date associated with his martyrdom. (via Wikipedia)

Okay, I just want to mention dressing up as Princess Leia to please one’s man, one more time before getting on to the serious business of talking about Valentines Day for the next few days. There is an episode of Friends from their third season, written by Michael Curtis & Gregory S. Malins, where Jennifer Aniston’s Rachel gets into costume for David Schwimmer’s Ross. Unfortunately, embodying her boyfriend’s more fervent fantasy does not work out all that well, but you do get to see a big star in Leia slave girl drag. You can pick the DVD (The One with the Princess Leia Fantasy) up from Barnes & Noble. Reports are that George Lucas was tickled pink by the episode and wrote the producers a thank you note for including the Leia fantasy. I should send them a thank you note too, just for proving that it is not that uncommon to play Jabba and the naughty Princess.

It is probably too late to get a custom Princess Leia costume, but Barnes & Noble has a special section this month devoted to VDay appropriate gifts and there is still time for them to make sure your Valentine gets what you ordered in time for Valentines Day.

I don’t want anyone thinking that I am a lone imperialist here. There is a globe-spanning organization called the 501st Legion whose slogan is Vader’s Fist. In order to belong you must own a professional quality Star Wars outfit. According to the 501st Legion website, “Costume can be Imperial, Bounty Hunters, Denizens of the Empire or other “bad guy” costume. Rebel costumers should join the Rebel Legion, our sister organization.” On your membership application, you must check off which costumes you have available to assist you in serving Lord Vader: Stormtrooper, Desert Trooper (sandtrooper), Snowtrooper, TIE Pilot, AT-AT Pilot, Biker Scout, Sith Lord, Bounty Hunter, Imperial Officer/NCOs/Warrants/Pilots, Imperial Navy Death Star Gunner, Imperial Navy Death Star Trooper, Royal Guard, Special Ops, AT-ST Driver, Clone Trooper, Imperial Crew Generic Jumpsuit Brigade or my favorite Denizens of the Empire (alien scum & villainy). I admit that some of the pilot differentiation was beyond the scope of my Star Wars knowledge. The 501st Legion has Squads and Garrisons all over the world and the site contains a database of many of its members in costume, divided up by their area of service. That is so hot. Perhaps Vader’s Fist could “talk” some sense into those parts of the world which seem to lack it.

Are you thinking to yourself that you would like to buy a Princess Leia costume and a GothicSluts.com membership, but you need a credit card? Apparently it is possible to get either a Yoda or Darth Vader Platinum Visa credit card from the Star Wars site. Bonus Limited-Edition, Chrome Jango Fett Mini Bust by Gentle Giant Studios included with certain purchase patterns, plus more “Galactic Rewards.” Provided you make at least $15,000 a year. Unless you are a student. Then those requirements are waived. I thought one had to make more than that to get a platinum card. How times have changed since the days when my young mind was corrupted by my first glimpse of Lord Vader lifting some poor slob up by his neck.

I think Yoda probably has bad credit though. I’d have to go with sexy Darth for my pay-you-later shopping needs. Yoda is practically the patron saint of longshot causes. He probably does all right for himself, for a guy who ends up living in a swamp most of the year. Low cost of living there. But I bet he lends money to friends who are complete deadbeats. Darth Vader, on the other hand, probably got as big a credit line as he wanted from any contracters who ever wanted work building a Death Star in this universe again. Yes, definitely going with the Darth Vader card.

Speaking of Bettie Page, I wanted to link this free sample preview gallery from Blue Blood’s Gothic Sluts. I think the use of the pinstriped corset with the art nouveau-inspired ink is very elegant. These shots of Blue Blood Kellie by Forrest Black and Amelia G are simply stunning.

Scott Blair is a visual artist based in the American South. He works in both digital and traditional media. He has an entertaining ongoing series of works depicting various desireable celebrities dressed up in the Princess Leia slave costume she wore for Jabba the Hutt. So far he has artistically enslaved Christina Aguilara, Bettie Page, Gillian Anderson, Lucy Liu, Anna Kournikova, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Xenia Seeberg, Veronica Lake, and fairly logically Natalie Portman. It is called the Slave Bikini Series and was apparently created at the request of the folks at Leia’s Metal Bikini.

John Coppinger is a sculptor. I imagine that, if he just mentioned his profession without footnotes at a party, most people would never guess what he makes. The artist works primarily for movies and museums. He worked on the giant sculpture of Jabba the Hutt for George Lucas and he has also made monsters for museums. His credits include dinosaurs for The National Museum of Natural Science in Taichung, Taiwan and a giant squid for The Natural History Museum in London, England. Coolest job ever.

One if my favorite things about the net is that there is nothing so depraved that someone does not share their fetish. I’ve already told you how my husband and I intend to spend the impending February 14th festivities, but I haven’t told you yet how many other people probably have similar plans. Leia’s Metal Bikini is a site dedicated to nearly exclusively the whole Leia sex slave thing and accompanying cute outfit. You can buy a bikini from them or they will direct you to instructions for building your own. This site boasts an impressive collection of fan photos of fen in Leia drag. They even have screen captures of Homer from The Simpsons and Peter from Family Guy fantasizing about playing Jabba and the naughty princess.

I’m looking forward to playing Jabba and the naughty princess this Valentines Day. I ended up having a friend make me an outfit because I was less embarrassed giving my measurements to someone I know cares about it and she did it for free in trade for me doing some writing for her company. But I searched the web diligently before going with the evil I know. The Magic Wardrobe is one of the companies which makes a Princess Leia slave costume. They make a variety of costumes and even accept surfer requests for new designs. They primarily do fantasy work and historical and movie recreations, although they also have a pets section. Yes, they make a speedo for cats.

It seems only right to kick of the month of February with a link to a free picture of the day for Miss Bunny’s amateur site. Miss Bunny has hearts tattooed over her nipples. I’ve never seen that before and am totally charmed. Not every day of the picture of the day features her after she got this rather unique body mod, but I do like linking to freebies. This naughty rabbit has a Playboy logo tattoo on her ankle, but she has been in much cooler publications than that. She counts Howard Stern, Penthouse, and HBO’s G-String Divas in her credits. She apparently also dances competitively. I didn’t know there was any such thing as stripping competitions. From her photos, it looks like they are quite vigorous and involved and rather entertaining. I feel like I have been so sheltered. How could I not have known about these?